Hardcore Max

(album: Sexy Album - 2010)

His name is max and he's going to school
He doesn't wear a helmet 'cause he's so cool
He keeps his helmet on his bars
Darts out randomly in front of cars

Talks on his phone while rolling down the street
He even has a girlfriend, isn't that sweet!?
He hits on chicks even if they're skanky
He smells his pits and they're hella stinky!

Ok, I just need to clarify one mother fucking thing, max is a bad ass mother fucker, if you don't fucking believe me, then look at his mother fucking helmet on his mother fucking handlebars, holy shit that guy is hardcore! oh yeah, and he swears a shitload, and everyone knows that's fucking awesome!

What's this? is this is a hardcore part? yeah!! just like max!

His name is max!
He doesn't wear a helmet!
He keeps it on his handlebar!
He's failing all his classes!
And he's only... 10!?

What? I thought he was like 26. so you're telling me that I wrote this badass song about a ten year old!?

You know what? I don't care if he's 10, or 50, or even a frigging baby, he's still more hardcore than I'll ever be, and I'm 32!

Wait, max! watch out for your helmet!
Max didn't wear his helmet
Now he has suffered a concussion
And he will be in a coma for the next three weeks
But it was worth it because
Helmets make you look really geeky.
Why do I sound like a bad a rip-off
Of the red hot chili peppers?