Boxman 2.0

(album: If Music Were Real - 2011)

Walking down the street on a beautiful summer day
The wind blows I return a man's toupé
I hold the door open for the man and his wife
Blue skies are the best time of my life
I'm a nice guy and get nothing in return but
Cut in line, mean mugged, smacked on the butt
By the way, saying "Good game" doesn't mean it's OK
Guy on guy butt slapping's really gay
No, that's not me now, I'm Boxman version two
Out with the old box, in with the new
Don't expect a dance from me that's so overplayed
Boxman Dance time won't get me laid

Uh uh

The old me would be polite and hold open doors
Not the new me, I'll walk past 'cause I'm hardcore
Hand me that paper, no I won't say please
Because I'm a BAMF like Sue from Glee

Which gang should I join? The Bloods or the Crips?
Why not combine the two? Purple is hip
(Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination)
Let's see that dinosaur's gang operation

He's a Boxman version two
Everything you knew about him's now untrue
He's a Boxman two point oh
He's really badass like G.I. Joe
He's a Boxman in a gang
They make him do things that are insane
He's a Boxman as you can see
Breaking that table was really mean

So maybe gang life ain't all it's cracked up to be
Hanging out with old men who live at home just ain't for me
Oops Forgot to wear my undies
They all saw my box-butt and made fun of me

Stop, everybody put your hands in the air
There's a gang affair going on in here, I'm aware

Holy fucking shit, I'm fucking out of here, man
I had nothing to do with any of their plans

Whoa, oh my God, dude, what the hell is all this?
Gangs play Pokemon? You can't be serious
Hey, is that a Snorlax? that card is super cool
I'll trade you for my Squirtle, Mewtwo, and Tentacruel

Now I'm a box living in a box on the street
All 'cause I wanted street cred from the industry
I don't care if people don't like what they see
If they got beef with me, they can go hump a tree

He's a Boxman version two
Everything you knew about him's now untrue
He's a Boxman two point oh
He really really likes that Cosby Show!
He's a Boxman acts like himself now
Doesn't try to act like the rest of the crowd
He's a Boxman now he's cleaner
But if you're a prick he'll kick your wiener!