Still Standing

(album: Black Lion - 2020)

I'm still here, still standing
And I've come too far now to let it go
I'll be here, still bleeding
And I just thought that I'd let you know

Underhanded, still upstanded
Not pretending, so colossal
In the trenches, through the fences
Jumped through hurdles and all the obstacles
So relentless, let me vent this
In my sleep, could do it with my eyes closed
Intermission, I had a vision
It was me telling myself that anything is possible
Hard work, dedication
All alone it's like meditation
Hard times, ups and downs
Boxed in with no ventilation
Claustrophobic we on the deep end
No one injecting, these words are sacred
In the city when I'm on the weekend
Back and forth but I'm staying patient (I'm staying patient)
Roller coaster
Nobody knows how I still be standing
I was broke without a pot to piss in
Take a little picture, make sure it's candid
I brace for landing (Brace for landing)
Lord knows I really want a Grammy
I've visualized it like 3 in the morning
Me and Wrek and Bernz when we was in Miami
I've manifested this, not illusion
Sacrificed, so my spot is proven
Low was 30, watch out I'm moving
Before you count me out and start drawing conclusion
Gonna feel this
Good things take time
You could find me in the front line
With a vibe, and I

I just thought I'd let you know
I'm still here, still standing
And I've come too far now to let it go
I'll be here, still bleeding
And I just thought that I'd let you know
I'm still here, still standing
And I've come too far now to let it go
I'll be here, still bleeding
And I just thought that I'd let you know

Now I cry to God like why the fuck am I alive?
I should be dead by now
I'm comfortable in my skin and I'll never shed
I'm sick of begging and praying to answer my wishes
To make me feel good
I'm empty inside like I been disavowed
Put the butt end of it to my head and release the pressure valve
There's a noun that I never thought was option open, but now I'm left with doubt
I need to take a couple seconds before I take my aggression out on someone who's innocent
So my head is bowed
I think of death when people told me go the extra mile
I'm sick of dressing down
And debt collector mail
Man [?]
I guess I'm blessed to get a record deal
Of my fans, some of them expect the world
I ain't grow up dreaming that to be a dope MC
Was just me, nothing, got to keep up with social media
Hoping people think I'm interesting, give a listen to the music
I'm to grown to be a teenager
Did a show, made a joke outta myself in front of Stone
Let it go, let me be known for loving coke
Wanted snow from anyone, got another bloody nose
On the stage and in the meeting
But they seem to come and go
Like rappers or famous actors, don't wanna be one of those
Pretty soon I be dead, getting sent up the road
Probably for killing the woman that I loved the most
Finally chose to let God take over control
Now the old me's dead
Now I'm only led by the Lord
And the kindness of my heart
Funny, shit ain't really hard
Stevie I got something I want to address
To the fans, man, I ain't on the label anymore
In the end the tension
Shit was business driven
Any incidents for them been forgiven
And if not it's all good, maybe in the distant
Future, take the music away
The friendship means more to me
And of course I support the team
But more importantly
Besides the music, those dudes are my boys for life
And fuck tours, I got shoulders to land for support and strength
I'm still standing
It's Rittz, bitch
Himmi, what's up Stevie

I just thought I'd let you know
I'm still here, still standing
And I've come too far now to let it go
I'll be here, still bleeding
And I just thought that I'd let you know
I'm still here, still standing
And I've come too far now to let it go
I'll be here, still bleeding
And I just thought that I'd let you know