Do I Deserve It

(album: Sushi Soup - 2021)

I can only take a compliment
From a stranger
I don't trust the people who are closest to me
To tell the truth
'Cause what if they're just saving my feelings?
And they pity me
So they just say what's nice

I enjoy abuse
Because if you're mean to me
I can trust you'll tell the truth
I enjoy abuse
'Cause I feel like I deserve it
Do I deserve it?
Do I deserve it?

I crave affection constantly
But then once I get it
I'll remain unsatisfied
And there's nothing I can do to fill the hole
That's gaping inside me
That is there because
I have no real self worth

I enjoy abuse
Because if you're mean to me
I can trust you'll tell the truth
I enjoy abuse
'Cause I feel like I deserve it
Do I deserve it?
Do I deserve it?

I've had so many friends who've left me on a whim
Suddenly cut ties for reasons that I can't explain
And yet I end up feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause if everybody loved me
I must be doing something wrong, right?
It's the only thing I think of at night
People shouldn't make the same mistake twice
But
I enjoy abuse