Lavender

(album: Butterfly - 2018)

I lay my head in line with the rest
Bent apart, crooked teeth
Sunken deep into my chest
Claw away my eyes
And empty my head
There's one thing I can't forget
It keeps me upright in bed

People get what they're worth
I'm hoping you will too
I've been pulling teeth so I could finally get to you
Rearrange my body and turn me into you
My life of idols and stone
I'll hold my breath till I'm blue

I can feel your grip crushing straight to the bone
You're so ice cold
You might as well be a clone
I can see that you don't need to be
Exposed now we will see

I'll fucking tear my eyes out just to sew them shut
Try to take my walls down but I'll build them up
Tell me is it a sin?
To kill you now or let it sink in?

Do you think you ended me?
Have you listened to the words that remain unseen?
I know you know who I wanted to be
Why do you put this hate on me?

I've found the meaning is nothing
And living is sad
But at least I feel something
Although all of it is bad

I won't give of myself I know that you will attack
If this was all we had
I want you to take it back

Oh lavender why do you stare?
I won't take part
I just don't care
I'll cry for you and give you my hopes
So those around me can tighten the ropes

Take a look at my broken fucking hands
I lay upon these shadows just so I can hide my head in the sand
Or just from you

Rearrange me
Cut apart my body
And turn me into something new
My life of idols and stone
I'll hold my breath till I'm blue