Happy

(album: Conversations With Myself - 2021)

I woke up this morning and I didn't feel like I was gonna die
My head wasn't crowded and I didn't feel like I was gonna cry
And there were no rainclouds hovering over my head
And there was no weight sitting on top of my chest

And it made me nervous that something was wrong, so I called up my doctor
I said there was no pain and he said I'm okay, that I shouldn't be bothered
But I don't believe him 'cause there's gotta be something
There's always a fallout and I know that it's coming

I'm so used to problems
Spending all my time trying to solve 'em
Now I don't feel haunted
If I'm being honest

How come happy makes me feel lost?
I just don't understand it
How come feeling good feels so wrong?
This ain't what I imagined
Wish that I could just move along
And let myself feel the magic
How come happy makes me feel lost?
I just don't understand it

Is there a handbook or some sort of potion that makes this feel easy
Some sort of secret that makes you believe that you're finally healing
I can't see the darkness when the sun's always shining
I can't hear the thunder, but I know that there's lightning

I'm so used to problems
Spending all my time trying to solve 'em
Now I don't feel haunted
If I'm being honest

How come happy makes me feel lost?
I just don't understand it
How come feeling good feels so wrong?
This ain't what I imagined
Wish that I could just move along
And let myself feel the magic
How come happy makes me feel lost?
I just don't understand it

How come happy makes me feel lost?
I just don't understand it