PC Stoker

(album: Idle Gossip - 1986)

Stoker is a boy in blue
And he must be the worst
He's a copper
Stoker someday he'll get you
But you won't be the first
He's a copper
He's a police constable
That makes us feel uncomfortable
He's a copper
No more football in the street
Or necking with your girlfriend
Stoker's on the beat again...

He's a Bobby, he's a joker
He's a Bobby we want dead
He's a Bobby, P.C. Stoker
Why can't we have a decent proper copper instead?

Stoker loves to see a fight
He really goes to town
He's a copper
Stoker's smiling with delight
He's took somebody down
He's a copper
He'll prove you guilty in the court
You'll wish that you had never fought
A copper
Don't cry or shout or scream or yell
There's nothing you can do
When Stoker's in the cell with you

He's a Bobby, P.C. Stoker
Why can't we have a decent proper copper instead?

The United Team supporters
Have invaded the pitch
That is P.C. Stoker's quarter so
He flicks his talky switch
I need some help down here boys
There's punks and skinheads too
And we all hate P.C. Stoker
And we hate the boys in blue

Stoker's rather fed up
Coz there's no one else to nick
He's a copper
Someone soon will kick his head in
Just you wait n' see
It needs somebody tough
Coz we've all had enough
Yes it needs somebody tough
But I think it could be me

He's a Bobby, he's a joker
He's a Bobby we want dead
He's a Bobby, P.C. Stoker
Why can't we have a decent proper copper cause
He's a Bobby, he's a joker
He's a Bobby we want dead
He's a Bobby, P.C. Stoker
Why can't we have a decent proper copper instead?