Pretty Fly For A Rabbi

(album: Running With Scissors - 1999)

Veren zol fun dir a blintsa

(How ya doing Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doing Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doing Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly for a rabbi

Meccha leccha hi, meccha hiney hiney ho

Our temple's had a fair share of rabbis in the past
But most of 'em were nudniks and none of 'em would last
But our new guy's real kosher, I think he'll do the trick
I tell ya, he's to die for he really knows his shtick

So how's by you? Have you seen this Jew?
Reads the Torah, does his own accounting too
Working like a dog at the synagogue
He's there all day, he's there all day
Just say "Vay iz mir!" and he'll kick into gear
He'll bring you lots of cheer and maybe bagels with some shmeer
Just grab your yarmulka and
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!

(How ya doing Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doing Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doing Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly (for a rabbi)

He shops at discount stores, not just any will suffice
He has to find a bargain 'cause he won't pay retail price
He never acts meshugga and he's hardly a schlemiel
But if you wanna haggle, oy, he'll make you such a deal!

People used to scoff, now they say "Mazel tov!"
He's such a macher 'cause he worked his tuchis off
Yeah, he keeps his cool and teaches shul
What's not to like? What's not to like?
On high holy days, you know he prays and prays
And he never eats pastrami on white bread with mayonnaise
Put on your yarmulka and
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!

When he's doing a Bar Mitzvah, now that you shouldn't miss
He'll always shlep on down for a wedding or a briss
They say he's got a lot of chutzpah, he's really quite hhhhhip
The parents pay the moyl and he gets to keep the tip

(How ya doing Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doing Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doing Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey

Meccha leccha hi, meccha meccha cholly ho

He's doing well, I gotta kvell
The yentas love him, even shicksas think he's swell
Show up at his home, he says "Shalom"
And "Have some cake you want some cake?"
Yah, he calls the shots, we really love him lots
Oy gevalt, I'm so ferklempt that I could plotz
So grab your yarmulka
The one you got for Chanukah
Let's put on our yarmulkas and
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!