I'm Bo Yo (Live)

(album: Bo Burnham - 2009)

Let's rock this shit

I don't know if all Boy Scouts are gays
They could probably tie the knot in, like, fifty different ways
I got a safe full o' cherries, 'cause I pop it and lock it
A girl's like a fridge, once a week, you should stock it

Girl, if you're into rimming, it's only safe if you're swimming
But, girl, don't sit on that couch 'cause I treat my objects like women
I spit fire like I just blew a demon
My shit's so hot, I'll leave your toilet bowl steaming

I'm gonna tear it, like the cards of the gypsies
You'll bleed for so long you'll get monthly ellipses
If your pants are loose, I'll replete ya
You're a first time vegan and it's nice to meet ya

I'm Bo yo
And I'm the greatest rapper ever
And I'll weather your weather whether you think I'm clever or not
Think you're better, you're not
Don't need a sweater, I'm hot
I'm a real G-shawty that can really find your G-spot
Woah, yeah
What the fuck's a G-spot?

Go to a vagina orchard, count one, two, three
Spin that plant around you got a third-world country
Yo, that's right, consider yourself warned
I'm offensive and creative like handicapped porn

You're playing with your breasts, excuse me, can I try it, ma'am?
You're pushing 'em together like a titty venn diagram
Look at that crack, excuse me can I buy a gram?
Right below your diaphragm
Ass looks like you're hiding ham

First base, we're making out
Second base, I'm getting faked out
I said, third base, I'm getting take out
And I'd try to take it home if I knew I'd take it out

But I just don't know, I said I just don't care
I said my flow's so cold I need a tampon from a polar bear
And you can spell and smell my stink
B.O. lingers and it makes you think

'Cause I'm Bo yo
And I'm the greatest rapper ever
And I'll weather your weather whether you think I'm clever or not
Think you're better, you're not
Don't need a sweater I'm hot
I'm a real G-shawty that can really find your G-spot
Woah, yeah
Provided that you point me in the general direction

'Cause girls are like donuts when I be busting Bo nuts
I can make 'em cream-filled or give them a layer of glaze
I'm like Doug's friend Skeeter whenever I meet her
Because I skeet her so hard people call her Patty Mayonnaise

Yo

Hey, my girl is epileptic 'cause she's the one I'm jerkin with
Come on, you Asian child-laborer, show me what you're working with
Ooh, large machinery

'Cause there's an inverse relationship between respect and sects
I'm talking 'bout religious sects, like a Mormon sect
That says you can't have sex with members of different sects, but you can't have sex with members of the same sex
So if the sects can't be different and the sex can't be same, then the only sex left is some left-hand shame
And girl I left you 'cause you left the game
And if that don't feel right, then you can write my name

'Cause I'm Bo, yo
I'm the greatest rapper ever

Don't need a sweater, I'm hot
Something about a G whatever

Yo, I said my junk's so long that it hangs and swings
So at the nude beach people think I'm looking for lost rings
Play the skin flute, your big boy sings
If you want to take it all, wear African neck-rings
It makes your neck long 'cause my dick

Haters call me gay, but that ain't hating
'Cause I'm not homophobic, my morals are straight
And if I'm in the closet, then you are below me
Taking the B-A-T out of basement, homie (Semen, it spells)

'Cause I'm Bo yo