Big Kisses

I went vegan, quit the coffee and cigarettes
But it just doubled my appetite
And I lied awake most of the night
I stopped cable
And watching television
And goofing off on the internet all day
But it left me with nothing to say

Stopped staying at the bar too long
Getting drunk, singing sad songs
Stumbling home and passing out on the floor

But I'm still in love
With darkness
With something that is crushing me
With a persistent feeling of dread
That leaks out and pilfers my breath

I started running to make waking up worth my time
But it just felt like running away
From the problems that swallow the day

I've been here for far too long
Getting drunk, singing sad songs
Trying hard to give myself decent sleep

But I still wake up
And I'm still in love
With dying

Something inside that you wanna say
Say it out loud it's still not okay
In fact it's worse 'cause everything stayed the same

And I still wake up
And I'm still in love
And I still wake up
And I'm still in love