Friends With Benefits

(album: The Garden - 2014)

Look, fuck buddies, I want to be fuck buddies
Turn up the subwoofer in the trunk and bump uglies
Give me a hug please; I hold a little too long
I'm coming on a little too strong
You're getting blushed cheeks, so we'd better move on
Get a move on, I'm in above my head like a bouffant
Take too long and I'm afraid you've gone
And I'll have lost another lady, but gained another new song

Yes, let's be friends with benefits
My love life's suffering a deficit
Let's be friends with benefits
Friends with benefits

I've never been especially eloquent
I'm as elegant as an eccied elephant
My etiquette is evidently ever in development
But when I'm in bed then I'm in my element
I promise, honest, we'll listen to some Ella Fitzgerald
Then we'll get it on with the leather whips
The morning after the night before we caved in
Cavemen and cavewomen craving the fornication
I'm never sure if it's safe
But I'd say that it calls for some glorification

Yes, let's be friends with benefits
Because I'm ever such a clever dick
Let's be friends with benefits
Friends with benefits

There's so much history to tip-toe around
It's hard to keep afloat when the ship's going down
Once we danced at the disco in town
With both our hips going round
I realised through seeing your eyes, it was the genesis
Of the end of friends with benefits
I'd been increasingly feeling affectionate
It seemed that revealing my secret would get a kiss
So I leaned in for the hell of it
And you ripped the beating thing from my chest and then severed it
You're a prejudiced, feminine supremacist
Nevertheless you're getting sex from your nemesis

Let's not be friends with benefits
Because I'm ever such a clever dick
Let's not be friends with benefits
Because we'll never hear the end of it