Toys

(album: Hip Hop Hooray - 2017)

I knew I was a fully grown man, a true bloke
The moment I moved over to Lego from Duplo
I was beautifully naive; a little Rousseau
I didn't follow instructions, to this day I rarely do so
It's true, bro, back then I never had a Cluedo
That I was musical; I didn't do sports, I was too slow
There was no sudoku, I did lots of crosswords
Wordsearches, Where's Wally and dot to dots
No aerial in the TV, so there wasn't a lot to watch
My parents played with me, in a way to please Doctor Spock
To my mom and my dad I'm honoured to have, I want to just thank you
With your support I'm rolling on top of the track like Thomas The Tank do

Man I love my toys
From action figures to puzzles, cards, stickers and games
Man I love my toys
If I hadn't played my imagination wouldn't be the same

Before I could pour liquor, or buy cigarettes in a shop
I had football stickers in a nice little deck that I swapped
Collecting the Pogs, and I had loads of Tazos
No notion it was only a passing fad though
Nothing could distract me from the task in hand
Racking all my little cars up into one massive traffic jam
I wasn't a massive fan of Action Man, that lacked the tactics Dan was
After, tasks with grand strategy and a battle plan
See the scene, a sea of green plastic army men
Amassed on a carpet desert, the three piece suite was sweeping scenery
No need to make a Tracy Island, I had one in the first place
And that was F.A.B.
A fucking awesome birthday!

Man I love my toys
From action figures to puzzles, cards, stickers and games
Man I love my toys
If I hadn't played my imagination wouldn't be the same

I'm in a stupid mood, the rudest dude
My language is that colourful, I twist it like a Rubik's cube
I made a bandana from my dad's tie I think was purple
Can't recall the name of that specific Ninja Turtle
Me, I'm on that line of Brio kinda steelo
I roll it out then bring it sliding right back just like a Whee-lo
I write these raps to open up your mind like Mighty Max
Stacking rhymes like Jenga bricks until you hear a mighty crash
Flows crush you like the Stay Puft from Ghostbusters
As I transform a simple sentence into one of those punches
Some kids had a Happy Meal for most lunches
Let's just say they won't be in Olympic host countries

Man I love my toys
From action figures to puzzles, cards, stickers and games
Man I love my toys
If I hadn't played my imagination wouldn't be the same

I had a Golliwog, to which I was a bit hostile
The way I played could make behaviourists watchful
Maybe I'm racist don't what I got so pissed off for
Regarding races, racing cars, I had a big boxful
I used to burn them over candles with Chris Cottrill
And once I got a Lego cannonball stuck in my nostril
I love cyber pets of either sex, my Tamagotchi
Got treated, spoilt and overfed, he was hella podgy
Felt godly, I was the one to whom AI would look up
But I couldn't get my Furby to shut the fuck up
Kids, advertisers sell you shit they cook up
If you want a nostalgic trip, hit me up, I've got the hook up
I've got He-Man and She-Ra, I've got Trolls
They're called poseable action figurines, not dolls
It's a shame that toys are frowned upon for adults cause there's
Nothing much for us except the rubber stuff at Ann Summers

Man I love my toys
From action figures to puzzles, cards, stickers and games
Man I love my toys
If I hadn't played my imagination wouldn't be the same
Man I love my toys