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Dan Bull

Minecraft vs Lego (Destructive Ending)

 

Minecraft vs Lego (Destructive Ending)

(album: Generation Gaming XXII: She Wants The D-Pad - 2021)


[Minecraft Steve (Dan Bull):]
You might recognise me from the world's biggest video game
They call me Steve, did they even give you a name?
I'm the new kid on the block, bringing new blocks to the kids
From the digital underground, don't need boxes and lids
I'm freestyling lines that are dropping you dead
Your hair's the only stuff coming off the top of your head
You're still under construction, can't be having much fun
Amidst a world of bricks in which your fists can't even clutch one
You're a bygone era, bargain bin man, your time's passed
Your style's child's play, make way for Minecraft
My blocks are rocks, logs, quartz, and lapis
While yours are plastic and that's it
Check my stats, look I'm killing it on YouTube
I can fell a forest with my fists, what can you do?
I'll build an obsidian tomb and lock you up in there
Mind you, I could do that with some tupperware

[The Lego Man (The Stupendium):]
Not fair to square raps against this cube
No joints, I still articulate better than you
I'm a classic, an icon with style to boot
'Cause no matter what I'm wearing it's a three-piece suit
I have sparked imaginations
Every kid in every nation
On and on for generations
You can't stop what I'm creating
Check my space station, no Tekkit instalation
You're low-res, homeless, no chance of overtaking
I'm a timeless line of iconic design
While you melt kids' minds one block at a time
For centuries we left child labour behind
You've essentially trapped them all back in the mines
Won't be fooled by the blocks that you got
Without a modpack all you're rocking is rocks
So have fun as you fumble in the dirt
Want to step to me? You'll see how much that hurts!

[Chorus (Nice Peter):]
You got two rappers but the battle's six sided
Boxes in the ring taking swing at the prize
It's apparently imperative we get it decided
Which brick clique gets kids excited

[Minecraft Steve (Dan Bull):]
Gather round everybody, drum roll please
And see the freak with two bumholes, jeez
If you come for Steve then your loot gets dropped
I'm rocking more blocks than a Rubik's shop
Look the truth is I don't want to keep dissing
But you're useless soon as there's one piece missing
I'm an unlimited fun-bringing, Don of construction
I worked it out myself, you just follow instructions
I brave caves for days digging diamonds, capping Creepers
Sending Spiders to the grave, can you keep up?
Nah, I can end an Enderman while he renders in
More architecturally smart than Simon Henderson
Don't send for the Avengers, Marvel, I'm assembling
You can't even take your trousers down without dismembering
Now we're entering survival mode
You're just gathering dust, so here's the final blow

[The Lego Man (The Stupendium):]
Trample me? You'll need more than a horse
'Cause you're tangling with a toy box tour-de-force
I may be a plaything, but I break the mould
Every day three hundred thousand of me get sold
Heard of Overwatch? Did you hope to contend
'Cause we're over Notch, yeah your trend's at an end
You overshot if you came to depend
On the whims of the net just to get dividends
Your phenomenon topped all the charts it's true
But they dropped off faster than Notch dropped you
A decade ago you were top of the views
But you'd still be at the bottom if it wasn't for Pewds
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But they aren't intimidating when they're all you own
Want to get a brick slap from some bric-a-brac?
Better pack your bits into your zip while I'm building me a throne

[Chorus (Nice Peter):]
You got two rappers but the battle's six sided
Boxes in the ring taking swing at the prize
It's apparently imperative we get it decided
Which brick clique gets kids excited

[Lego Minecraft (Epic Lloyd):]
Listen up! I've had just about enough of this
Insufferable blubbering from rubble and a couple bricks
Meet the product of all that you've accomplished
I'm the new stud in this construction triumvirate
An out of date Java game cobbled together
And a pathetic little relic that's desperate for relevance
The best of both your elements, expensive as I'm elegant
Playtime paradigm? I just left you in some sediment

Fatto

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