Thoughts

(album: A.M.N (Any Minute Now) - 2020)

I keep on pacing up and down the room
And I keep looking at this fucking rope
My momma text me saying see you soon
But will I make it I don't know
I don't wanna die but I also don't wanna hurt
I found a pot of gold but still feel like I need to search (word)
Success ain't everything that I assumed
Cause I feel lonely in these crowed rooms
I can't even tell if it's plastic or real
The love me but I feel inadequate still
I mean I try to stay focused and ignore it but the pressure will build
Would be ashamed if I don't setup my kids
I mean I'm booming right now but how long is my reign gone last
Feel like I'm one wrong step away from becoming the same old cass
I don't wanna go back, wanna move forward but I don't have all the energy
Especially when friends is busy siding with enemies
Thought you knew better than all these made up analogies
How could I be happy with everybody is mad at me
You can tell I'm lonely by all these memes in my gallery
Busy burning bridges when I should be burning calories
Wishing that we all came with rechargeable batteries
Wanna end it all but I gadda think of my family (fuck)
So now I'm forced to smile with nighas like scoop
Who don't love me like they said that they do
I can see it in the way that they move
Nighas do you false and say they living they truth

Oh you're gonna miss me when I'm gone
They only love you when you're gone

Who got receipts for what a pray do
Yo let me forward that, let me know that I'm unbreakable
Uh yo synce folder, let me know how much it ate at you
Uh come see my plate and all the shit they made me cater to
It ain't no space for you cause I done been confined to it
Ain't nothing perfect like my vessel if I fine tune it
Man I been thirsty than a bitch been tryna find fluid
I got a waterfall to find out that it's diluted
I see the sun inside my son so I been super shaded but illuminated
Can't do the cell so I went super saiyan
My neo soul can make it through the matrix
Woah woah, clear through my basement I been fumigating
This shit for me bugging uh
I'm still a slave I got a noose inside my stomach uh
My free shackles turn to jury for the function uh
My self destruction look like sumn sumn sumn uh

And I fear God but tell the devil he should run it up
Your inner beauty never paid you truth is ugly huh?
I'm so confused I see the darkness when the sun is up
Yo tell the truth, when we meet up you just see money huh
It's been a minute since I felt in love
Been soul searching I been meaning to tell
Was unavailable needed my help
See I convinced the whole damn world to believe me bro
When I don't even believe in myself
I'm not as honest as you think I am
I'm just as filtered as your Instagram
I mean I'm really me but with a bit or trickery
I don't trust a soul I'm like Mr Bean shhh
My spirit is the reason people look up sorta like listerine
Scratch beneath the surface no matter how I word
Could never tell the truth to my fans they think I'm perfect
I know I'm real and I know I'm fake
Don't know many fate but I know my faith
Trying to control my pace
Believe in God and the pearly gates
So if I die I hope my soul you take
I know that heaven is a stretch but I'm hoping that you'll hold my place
I know I'll make it though I made mistakes
Father protect me
When I walk through the shadow of the valley of death
With no fear of the darkness though I'm hearing the threat
When I walk through the shadow of the valley of death
With no fear of the darkness say that shit with my chest