Textmergency

(album: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (Season 1 - Volume 2) - 2016)

[Harry:]
Time is running out
You've got to act now
Stay one step ahead
Of that moronic text somehow

[Connie:]
There's no turning back
Here in the danger zone
You've got to manually delete that text
From that dude's cell phone!

[Rebecca:]
Thank you, officers!

[Police officer:]
Good luck, Rebecca!

[Harry:]
It's a..

[Harry & Connie:]
Textmergency

[Harry:]
Baby, can't you see?

[Harry & Connie:]
Textmergency

[Harry:]
That term just occurred to me
It's gonna catch on instantly!

[Connie:]
Wait, what about
Textastrophe?
That sounds better to me!
Textastrophe!
That could really spread virally!

[Harry:]
I prefer textmergency

[Rebecca's client:]
I accidentally texted my mother-in-law
A picture of my erection

[Connie's client:]
I once group texted my whole staff
About my yeast infection!

[Harry:]
Exactly! it's so relatable
That's why I coined the phrase:

[Connie:]
Textastrophe!
That's the meme, don't you agree?

[Harry:]
All due respect
Textmergency
Is the better term, miss c

[Connie:]
Hmmm, I wanna go with
Textastrophe
I already put it on urban dictionary

[Ghost of Steve Jobs:]
You fools! It doesn't matter what it's called. That's right, it's me, the ghost of steve jobs!
what matters is that I control your lives from the grave!
technology is slowly alienating everyone from their loved ones—ha ha ha ha ha!
And when you send a few words to the wrong recipient and it immediately destroys your life, that's called a..

Messagepocalypse!

[All rockers:]
Get out of here, Steve Jobs!

[Connie's client:]
Guys, what about that lawyer chick? we've gotten really off track...

[Harry:]
She's searching for the spare key
Looked under the mat!

[Connie:]
It's clearly hidden in that owl!

[Rebecca's client:]
Look in that flower pot, hurry!

[Connie's client:]
Hurry up and check that Buddha sconce

[All rockers:]
Check the Buddha sconce
Check the Buddha sconce!

[Harry:]
She did it!
Now she can delete the text
She won't need to come up with a
Textcuse!

[Connie:]
Texplanation!

[Harry:]
Textmergency just flows!

[Connie:]
No, dude, textastrophe, it's what it is...

[Rebecca's client:]
Dude, she's totally right

[Connie's client:]
Textscuse me!