Heart Attack

(album: We're All Alone In This Together - 2021)

Knife crimes is near a record high
With more than forty blade offenses every day in London
At a youth club in South London not far from where someone was stabbed less that twenty-four hours ago
The outline to direct link between violent crimes, social exclusion and austerity
A study by City Hall found that London has seen an increase in 71% in victims of serious youth violence since 2012
The Mayor says this is linked to an increase in poverty
And the highest rates of violence take place in some of the poorest boroughs

Look, I bet them boys think I'm panicking
Check what my young Gs are carrying
His blade same length as a javelin
I don't know about B-ball or what's happening
But know that it's fucked if he travelling and we see him
I can't lie, I was depressed at phases
I was nineteen when the team nearly left him faceless
Hoping that we never left no traces
You know when you're so damn tired in your house
But you can't sleep 'cause you got pending cases
I used to love tempting fate, but now it's tempting faces
For half my career I was part of that
My best friend got a burner, and it's looking like an artifact
Put it in your puffer or your Prada hat
Like fuck panic, that's a heart attack
Yeah, it's like, life so fucked in the time that we're in
We're fighting the world, and we're fighting within
Somali dad ran away from a war
Now his son's in a war, that's the cycle we're in
I know niggas that didn't do time in a bin
That have never had freedom of mind, are you sick?
'Round here main way to provide for your kin
Is in a flick blade, little push bike and a sim
In London a place where it's nicer to live
Is only five minutes out from the guys on the strip
Where man make yay' work, heard he's a soldier
I know that nigga hasn't got balls like Grey Worm
As I grow older, change of perspective
I gotta stay loyal to my girl, that's the trait she was blessed with
Restaurants, raves with my bredrins
Life's too short, so we gotta turn up
Man talk on my ting for the 'Gram, it's intrusive
I never really thought 'bout taking a life
'Til I found out my ex-girl's dad is abusive
I felt "How could I be man and not do shit?"
I'm on the way there now, and I don't wanna lose it
But fighting her battle's only hurting the girl
How can I protect her from the world
When I couldn't even protect her from myself?
On my grandmother's grave, shit happens again
I put a knife through a family friend
Most the women that I know had shit happen to them
So innocent 'til guilty, ain't something I have to respect
I think back to my youth and I was so ungrateful
How many of our parents had dreams they abandoned so they could put food on the table?
Intelligent, worthy and able, that's somebody's parent
You know?
And that affected the way that I see shit
Night club toilet, you peed on the seat
'Cause you don't know how it feels when your mom's gotta clean shit
And her boss treats her like she don't even mean shit
And she gotta wait for the bus in the rain and it's freezing
And Mrs. said that you would never be shit
And you don't wanna cry about dad, but you need him
I grew up so fucked, but I didn't even deep it
I'm numb to the feeling of grieving
And man getting birded
African moms on the floor, just screaming
It's mad cah I try so hard
Death's got to be easy, 'cah life's so hard
I was twelve wishing that I was a white man, hard
Cah if I was then they probably wouldn't life mans darg
I was dead broke, fam, I couldn't swipe mans card
And time might pass, but I still gotta stay with it
It wasn't his beef, but I see him try claiming it
That's why he caught a bullet with another man's name on it
Now he can't do leg day or put strain on it
Every time you hear me freestyle, I put pain in it
I used to wonder "Does God have favorites?"
Touch me, it's dangerous, I wouldn't play with it
'Cause you can go sleep, and have a different type of wake for it
I miss my dawgs, unstable
You violate Chris? Then rah, turn Chris Benoit
Have him hit from far, nah
Fill 'em up with bricks and glass, nah
My young Gs will grip, then blast
Have you tried in the street? Fuck finding my feet
I could ride, but it's better when I'm ridin a beat
My emotions are peak, it ain't a sign of defeat or the weak
I would've **** you, then cried in my sleep
Dropped just two racks and told them "Buy the machine"
I'm LeBron in Miami, I provide for the heat
God strike me if I'm lying, I ain't crying in this beef
Unless the tears coming tatted on the side of my cheek
I provide for my peeps, the Lamb' white in the seats
So I'm literally a wolf disguised in a sheep
You have five figure dreams, I have five figure sleep
Five hours more than enough time that I need
Man want a fair fight, but I ain't on it when I see him
Fuck honour, this revolver is onomatopoeic
Let it "Stut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-ter" when you see him
Free Scalez, Free C and free my niggas 'til I see 'em
I wouldn't wanna be him
My old Gs roaming, I don't need a coliseum
You see it?
So I'm playing it good, let hood politics stay in the hood
Fuck the internet, you see this new generation
The Insta beef and I ain't into speaking
When I duck down
I had him running in a lift like he missed a meeting
There's no good reason to risk your freedom
The yutes dem snitch and bitches sneaking
She don't wanna talk 'bout friendships
She just wanna deal with the pipe like I'm fixing leaking
And sleep with a legend like Chrissy Teigen
Where I'm from the word "Life" has a different meaning
Man smile in your face, but them niggas scheming
Try involve me in a flakey dealing
Sistine Chapel, I'ma paint the ceiling
I been violated and I hate the feeling
That's why nowadays man hates the preaching
We smile in the visit, 'cause we ain't defeated
The Supreme Court's where my mates appealing
I can't breed that girl, that's torture
South London, it's just slags on the corner
And influencers tryna bag them a baller
She a gold-digger, I can tell from her aura
Her socials say princess, she a pauper
When it's time for it, need more for my daughter
Call me a talker, but man are getting lined like lambs in the slaughter
It's life-threatening and I can tell from the borer
Cut through a nigga like a knife though flora
Feds got the guys on a case and they stalk us
It's conspiracy like tinfoil hats and a new world order
Touch me, better have a life insurer
Blood thirsty, I got sharks in the water
And trust me, I know a killer whale, no orca
Have you ever seen a nightmare brought to life?
Where I'm from, you get cheffed on a normal night
Men talk on my name, but it's porkie pies
I really put it in a prick like a porcupine
Little bro wanna save for a .45
Go board a flight, there's more to life
Yutes on the M6 all the time
We don't need TFL for a northern line
All the best politicians been taught to lie
Where do they buy cocaine when they're snorting white?
Are their dealers safe or on the borderline?
It's ironic, 'cause we don't where to draw the line
Man see Blue Story, they're mortified
Man see Scarface and it's glorified
'Cause when you're black, everything gets scrutinized
That's why they call it "Urban", it gets euphemized
South London, man are getting euthanized
I see a yutes demise, I wasn't too surprise
He got soaked but his right hand scuba dived
Don't die by a sword that you used to shine
You can drown for your king, you don't know about Ophelia
Cah we got iron, I don't know about anaemia
I took the hard road, we don't know 'bout the easier
One bag of whores and drug paraphernalia
When ends got sticky, had a flicky with Emelia, I mean Olivia
This ain't Libya, this ain't Syria
You act sillier, we let it seep in your skin like Nivea
Who wants to be a millionaire? I won it
Never done a gameshow or trivia
I done Wandsworth, Erlestoke visitor
I done Springhill, Grendon, Swinfen, Whitemoor, Swaleside, Brixton visitor
I done M-way trips, done shit that I wished I never did
Becah I could have been a prisoner
Is this the shit that appeals to the listeners?
Road ain't no amazing life
The ends full of snakes and jails, just a waste of time
I tell my young Gs "Take your time"
Fuck Jazz, you can really see a major nine
Yo, I'm so ashamed of how I used to get figures
Man sell you a dream like the road tings lit
And then they leave out the parts where you're burying your niggas
Or in jail, wondering who's putting dick in your Mrs
I'm so fucking determined
I was in intensive care when I was born, mommy fell down the stairs
Whether I was gonna live or not was something uncertain
I used the word "Fell", with the commas inverted
You see, growing up I had it far from perfect
But nobody did, so I'm a normal person
I gotta be grateful, we all have demons and all see angels
Or maybe it's me
A black yutes more than a face on a screen
A number on a laptop or name on a sheet
We got stories to tell and got places to be
From my heart, that's the making of me

I was really about to lose
I sat on my hands
I struggled 'cause I didn't want to suffer again
I just wanted, didn't wanna make my son upset
I went to [?]
I tried so much, we have no strength
I was in detention counsel for months, I didn't give up
I was not even twenty when I left Africa
I was determined to survive
I was determined to survive
I didn't have anybody, nobody was ready to help me
You was six weeks old, this is when we left from Africa
I was on the streets for three years
Nobody let me eat, nobody in this nation
I couldn't pay my rent, getting deported
I didn't give up, I carried on everywhere