Merry Muthafucking Xmas

(album: 5150: Home 4 Tha Sick - 1992)

[Uncle Dolamite]
Come on over hunnie
And give your uncle Dolamite a kiss
[kissing sounds]
Well what you want baby?

[Baby]
Would you tell me a story?

[Uncle Dolamite]
You want me to tell you a story?

[Baby]
Hell yeah!

[Other Baby]
Me too!

[Uncle Dolamite]
Yes Hunnie I'm a tell you a story
About the bad ass Eazy-E
He was drinking whisky and gin at the age of three
Listen and listen well
He's a bad Muthafu

[Mother]
Gimmie that god damn book!
Here let me read you this one
Chrismas in Compton
It was a silent night, yes a holy night
Until Mr. Claus turned into Santa muthafucking right?

[Carolers]
Deck the halls with balls of holy
Fa la la la la la la la la
Tis the season to be jolly....

[Eazy-E]
Merry Chrismas muthafucka!
[Gun Shots]
Merry muthafucking Chrismas and a ho ho ho!
While I'm riding that cot under the missle toe
Now dashing through the snow
In a candy right top 6-4
Over the hills I go
Laughing at this hoe
Nuts on rich and rings
Making me feel right
Oh what fun it is to know
That I'm gonna get this pussy tonight
So ring them bells, ring them bells
Shes taking it all the way
Oh what fun it is to watch her suck my dick this way
Hey ring them bells, ring them bells
Shes taking it all the way
Oh what fun it is to nut, while she's sucking my dick
Oh yay!
Tis the season to get busy
Compton crime lick
And I'm smoking on this stick.

[Santa]
Ho ho ho come sit on my face
I'm mean lap and tell me what you want for Chrismas
Ho ho.

[Menajahtwa]
I want a sleigh ride
A Christmas Eve stick of rum
She said I slide down the chimney and I'm gonna cum
A VCR on the set with nothing but porno flicks
Get some Rudolph the red nose reindeer
Getcha that gum like a everlasting gobstoper
Give me a hump for his cock will be the party poppa
I dig a ho
Crack a dough
By the nuts oh
I want to be having a good time fucking in tha snow
I made him drop to his knees
Yeah you know whats up
I said here's some candy canes eat'em up
I send him down, they jumping down, swinging by my toes
Send me some cheese, I want the candy cream and the loot
I want Santa to send me a little jack horny guy
I want him to shake me [?]
So all on the hunt, bon appetit
And a condom in a tree

[Eazy-E]
All I want for Chrismas is my two front teeth
My two front teeth, my two front teeth
All I want for Chrismas is my two front teeth
Yo wheres ya rhyme tell me Buckwheat

[Buck wheat]
Buckwheat is a waskal
That's no Chrismas
And all the toys, boys and girls
Fuck ya wishes
I not happy, overjoyed in this muthafucka
No indo under my tree so Santa be a sucka
No shit on the roof, cough up Rudolph's nuts
When I was young I was the only kid
Who had enough guts to be
Good ole hearing on the East
I'd stay awake just to let America know
That Santa was a fake
I used to believe in Saint Dick when Elvis was alive
But all the fucking bullshit got played when I was five
Years old, just stay young, bold writing
Singing "Silent Night", caroling, reciting
Now all I want for Christmas is my indo wreath
I got my two front teeth
Uncle Eazy be the jeezy and
Just spread me a leaf
Little kids, don't cry
When you find out the Santa Claus is just a fucking lie

[Eazy-E]
On the third day of Christmas, my homeboys gave to me
Three pounds of indo
Two birds of cocaine
And a A muthafucking K, bitch

[Hook]
Eazy-E oh Eazy-E
Show us how you treat those bitches

[Hook]
I saw mommy fucking Eazy Claus

[Eazy-E]
Close the door, little bitch
I'm getting these draws

[Hook]
I'm a tell my daddy if ya ass don't stop

[Eazy-E]
I don't give a fuck
I'm getting Christmas cot
Ho ho ho and away I go

[Hook]
Oh Saint Nick's got a dick like a pole

[Woman 1]
Well where's our shit?

[Woman 2]
This motherfucker's cheap

[Eazy-E]
Shut the fuck up, bitches
And go back to sleep

[Will 1X]
Yo black, what you want for Christmas?
(Yo black, I want a job)
For my Christmas, all the fucked up people
Want some corn-on-the-cob
A Jew will eat some matzoh ball soup, but a nigga'll eat some
Chitlins, watermelon, corn bread and some Fruit Loops
Now who's caroling in my window
Smoking up indo
Mechalecha hi, make a high note

[apl.de.ap]
Get out my fucking yard with your camel
You wanna get busy and Santa like a..
I am a rhymer
The Atban Klann will make shit slam, it's Christmas time
The Simple Simon Christmas make me jam jam jam

[Will1X]
Yo black, what you want for Christmas?
Yo black, I want some cash
So I can buy some indo, chronic and some hash

[Atban Klann (Will1X & apl.de.ap)]
Yo, here comes the Atban Klann rough and rugged
A rump pa bum bum
A rump pa bum bum

[All]
Merry Muthafucking Chrismas
Merry Muthafucking Chrismas
Merry Muthafucking Chrismas
And have a fucked up new year

[Eazy-E]
You Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch!!

[Mother]
And they all went to prison
And lived fucked up lives ever after
The End