Killer's Lullaby

(album: Sunday 8 PM - 1999)

I'm sitting at a coffee table, unable to see straight
Watching parallel lines unwind and undulate
Behind the rain-streaked windowpane, the scene's bleak
Another train leaving home,
conceding defeat with a low moan
Hanging in A sky, made of stone
Everybody's leaving home, I called my man Jerome
To come meet me in the twilight zone
Leave your mobile phone at home and come alone
I bought him coffee and a snack,
settled back, started speaking
He was tweaking with the peak of his cap
While I'm seeking to discover what it takes to stay sober
Not cover my mistakes,
try to maybe make sense of the evidence
It's over, she's gone for good
Why should I lie, singing a killer's lullaby
Identified by the dying ring of her goodbye
The last thing you hear before your life disappear

Now it just gets worse, like my stomach 'll burst,
feel like I've been cursed.
With seven centuries of bitter memories
And inadequacies, previous he's and she's
I'm moving round this old house for the last time
Scene of my past crimes, been here for lifetimes
Hearing the chimes of the old clock that used to mock
You got eternity for taking stock,
this place is like a padlock
You look shocked.
Trust me, nothing ever moves but the dust,
There's just us and I'm here to torment and tease
And that's how it was for centuries
Me and my memories, till you brought the keys
Took the couple of Saturdays
I moved in running from tragedies and boozing
Seven hundred years since I came here
You appear, same hair, same quizzical stare
I couldn't get near,
And the sheer frustration was more than I could bear
I was really cursed, thought I'd been through the worst part
That was just the first part, just the start
Every night I'd be sitting with dread, breaking my heart
In case the man she'd been chasing gets to first base
And I just can't escape, I'm in bad shape
You making love to someone else is more than I can take
And so I make all the movement I can to no avail
Scream and yell, sinking deeper into my personal hell

I'm getting heated, I'm sorry, have another coffee
I needed to release my sparrow chest from just a piece of this pressure
Unless an escape route is found,
I'm going down underground
Into lifetimes of pain, it's absurd
The heaviest chain is contained is the sound of one word
So I'm referred back to hell, huh
Just as well, I hate needles an' get twinges at the thought
of syringes

J (as in Jerome), I'm going insane with shame
I dream and watch her making love over and over again
With what I call a farmer's swain
Unintelligent, pea-brained retard who's dick is always hard
Oh God, of course I'm jealous, fellows,
oversexed flexing his pec's
Jesus, what's he going make her do next?
I'm mad vex, the way she gently scratches his chest
You used to do that to me back in 1253
Pity me, while you lie with your lover
I stare and suffer in despair while you ruffle his hair
Unaware of who else is there
I move quick, I want to try my trick one last time
You know it's possible to vaguely define my outline
When dust move in the sunshine
So I'm trying to change, vibrate myself to near-human pitch
Which reminds me how I used to come unstitched
And switch 'round the house in a blind rage
It took years and an ocean of tears to find the key to this
cage
And write another stage into a new age,
it's difficult to gauge
But I know that I'll see you again, on that you may depend
I just don't know how or when
Sleep on, my lost love on gone

Jerome took me home under steel skies
Knowing I'm prone to dramatize but unknown for telling lies
And what I verbalize he can see behind my eyes
The why oh why's that identify killer lullabies
And he surmised
No surprise couldn't hear that
Closed my eyes as he steered that old black BM home again
Not knowing how and not knowing when.