Mike Balls Takes A Stand

(album: Mike Balls Boutique - 2023)

Woke up this morning feeling mad
'Cause of the noise out side and this dream I had
I'd been hitting it hard the night before
So my head was still fuzz from so much draw
People outside were fighting and screaming
And in my dream id been plotting and scheming
Time for payback to those who dissed
Mike Balls strikes back with an iron fist
I was an activist gonna take a stand
Against those motherfuckers who wanted me band
'Cause I'm Mike Balls and I'm gonna be heard
So I called up Hussain and said spread the word
I said I need weapons
What and when for
Some dynamite a Bazooka and maybe a chainsaw
Alright I will call up my cousin in law
I'm sure he will sort you out if you give him some draw
God dang, now it's on
So I bust put my place with a sawed off shot gun
Pointed at the sky shot in the air
I said I'm Mike Balls and I just don't care
I heard sirens and before the blue lights came
I jumped in the Saxo and met up with Adam Hussain
'Cause Mike Balls has just dropped a solo LP
So all you motherfuckers better listen to me
I'm pumped and about to go crazy
Road House about to go full Patrick Swayze
That bit at the end where he ripped out that guys throat
So I called up Billy Webb and said get your coat
I said we are being chased by the boys in blue
Adam's with me and we know what to do
We'll meet up with Xain and Eggsy by the Baneswell Express
Then we can sort out this mutherfucking mess
At the Banswell Express I said this ain't no joke
Pulled out a reefer had a quick toke
Waved my jammy said get to the floor
Some one screamed and we barricaded the door
Come outside raise your hands
First you gotta listen to my demands
We got hostages so here's the details
I want my album played of BBC Radio Wales
They said okay we don't want people to die
We can always ask it's worth a try
It was a hostage situation
So the cops called up the radio station
BBC wales said couldn't find my tape
That's when I decided we had to escape
'Cause I knew it was lies and this is how I know
I sent them 4 copies 2 weeks ago
So we broke out the back and ran for a block
Then we say Graham the bear doing a Howling Mad Murdock
Got in his chopper and went up to the sky
Waved at the coppers and said bye bye
Turned on the radio it hadn't gone to plan
'Cause they were still playing that song by fucking Rag And Bone man
You know the one that they are always playing
Where he's only got one ball at least I think that's what he's saying
There's only one way to end this story
Time to go out in a blaze of glory
Police helicopters looking for surrender
We are gonna crash this chopper into the Civic Centre
Fly towards the cock tower send my final tweet
When I got woken up by people fighting in the street
I lay there for a minute kinda groggy and dazed
I always have these fucking dreams when I've been smoking purple haze
There was a bang at the door it was Adam Hussain
He said you having them fucked up dreams again
Get in my car lets go up Cwmbran
Turned on the radio they were playing that Rag And Bone man again
You know the one where he's only got one ball after all