And I Smoke

(album: Why Would I Watch - 2023)

Fractal, how the pattern repeats itself
Its smallest details repeat indefinite
I hear a voice from an empty room make small talk

Move out, a new place that I don't know
It's smallest details are unfamiliar
Sit still in the shower until I feel alone
My doctor
Taught me techniques, she said

Regulate my breath, relax my jaw, and say my affirmations
Playing with my fingers, the door is
Just open enough so I wonder
Who is there?
My throat feels like it's full of hair
My chest lights a flame under every breath
I choke where I stand
My senses flare at the drop of a pin, I'm alone

Break the key off in its lock
Assure I'm by myself
And still the footfalls follow close
Although I know there's nothing there
The doctors order
Techniques they taught

Regulate my breath, relax my jaw, and say my affirmations
Playing with my fingers, the door is
Just open enough so I wonder
Who is there?
My throat feels like it's full of hair
My chest lights a flame under every breath
I choke where I stand
My senses flare at the drop of a pin, I'm alone

The fear has to stem from something
The horde I can hear from my couch, wanting eyes on them
Significance
Just take it and go away

I don't think it makes a difference
Quoting useless affirmations
Playing with the thought that there's someone watching me from inside the house
Who is there?
My throat feels like it's full of hair
My chest lights a flame under every breath
I choke where I stand
My senses flare at the drop of a pin, I'm alone

Fractal, how the pattern repeats itself
Its smallest details repeat indefinite
I hear a voice from an empty room make small talk