Bloom

(album: Everything A River Should Be - 2018)

I learned this trick at a young age.
Never live in the spotlight.
I took all the goodness that I could find,
Held it up to the night.
If I could give it all away,
Let the wind sweep it out from my hands.
I could be free from the burden of lonesome pride.
I'd be clean.

The mind trails off until I snap back.
The weight was simply replaced with shame.

Facing the sun in hopes to stay warm, even without you.
How did I find the time to be gone so much?
And see there it is, whispering to me like always.
You're familiar.
You've become my lullaby
For quite some time now.

The mind trails off until I snap.
Can I correct all the layers of lies?

Risk taking, letting myself be known to you.
Offering all the pain and my goodness in hopes of what it could do.
Maybe I'll find that true freedom.
And maybe I'll hold it for a night.
Courage calls me out from my shell.
Liberation waits until I bloom, bloom, bloom.

Shame, haven't you had enough of me yet?
You're beginning to take all that I am.
Haven't you had, all that you want?
You're beginning to take away.
Haven't you had, all that you want?
I know you've had all of me.
Haven't you had, all that you want?
All of me.

So instead of pushing you away by needing you to stay,
I refrain from casually allowing this shame to stay.
And allow you to leave, allow you to go,
Allow you to be whatever it is that you get to be.