Cheaper Than A Shrink

(album: Old Things New - 2009)

I was sitting in a chair at the H and R Block
Some bean counting pencil pusher running up the clock
Said, "I've tallied up your numbers through the end of the year
Son you spent a small fortune on liquor and beer"

I said, "It's cheaper than a shrink"
You don't have to think
You just pour and drink

It's sixteen-fifty for a bottle of Jack
No pouring out your heart to some high dollar quack
Just a flip of the wrist and you're getting it done
And getting just as messed up and having a lot more fun

And it's cheaper than a shrink
You don't have to think
You just pour and drink
It's cheaper than a shrink

Now me and her had this little problem between us
Trying to bridge the gap between Mars and Venus
She said, "Honey, I think we need to see a marital counselor"
I said, "All we need to do is slam a case of twelve ouncers"

'Cause it's cheaper than a shrink
You don't have to think
You just pour and drink

'Bout eighteen bucks I'll getcha four six-packs
No pouring out your heart to some high dollar quack
Just a flip of the wrist and you're getting it done
Getting just as messed up and having a lot more fun

And it's cheaper than a shrink
You don't have to think
You just pour and drink
And it's cheaper than a shrink

If the liquor prices soar as high as gasoline
Well, I'd have quit drinking back when I was nineteen
It's the oldest most proven form of therapy
The best thing about it, far as I can see

Is that it's cheaper than a shrink
You don't have to think
You just pour and drink
And it's cheaper than a shrink

Oh, you just pour and drink
And it's a whole lot cheaper than
Some big town clock hound
Drag you down shrink