Meet The Crew

(album: Nerdstorm - 2014)

[Scout:]
I got your head spinning running circles around you
With a baseball bat that I'm using to pound you
I'll be up in your face in the blink of an eye
No, I don't have wings, but I don't need them to fly
With a couple double jumps, I'll be fleeing the zone
Pick up your intel quick, then I'm bringing it home
I'm a pretty big deal, that's the honest truth
I mean, do you even know who you're talking to?

[Soldier:]
About face, maggots, stand at attention
Learn from a soldier who's reached perfection
Forward charge with my RPG
Helmet so low, I can barely see!
BAM rocket jumping all over the place
Finish you punks with a shovel to the face
If that don't kill you, it'll break your nose
I hope you weasels are taking notes

[Pyro:]
Welcome to my magical candy land
Where smiles are from ear to ear
And everyone loves each other
Come and spread the cheer

[Hook:]
This rap is kind of overdue (right?)
But now it's time to meet the crew (tight!)
The crazy dudes of TF2
So pick a side, Red or Blue?
After I pick my class
I'm gonna kick your ass
Cuz that's what we were born to do

[Engineer:]
Let's set up shop and get to work
I build a health dispenser if you've been hurt
Plus I got plenty of sentry defenses
But do not touch, cuz this stuff's expensive
Auto-aim rockets oughtta wreck you bumpkins
And just in case I need it self destruction
Step back 'fore I whack you with a wrench
And when my turrets spot you
You're as good as dead

[Heavy:]
Cry some more, run while you can
You little babies don't stand a chance
They call me Heavy, this is my gun
When she starts spinning, you'd better run
I do not require brains or technique
I've got so much muscle, I'll never be beat
I'll mow you down wherever you stand, bitch!
Now I am hungry, make me sandvich
[chewing sounds]
Ok, I'm good

[Demoman:]
Are you a bleeding idiot?
To fight with a drunken scot?
I'll down a swig of whiskey
For every grenade I launch
Wherever I go, the explosions follow
So keep your distance, lads
And I carry traditional weapons
I'll bloody you up with an axe

[Hook:]
This rap is kind of overdue (right?)
But now it's time to meet the crew (tight!)
The crazy dudes of TF2
So pick a side, Red or Blue?
Pick out my favorite class
Check out my fancy hats
I just don't know which one to choose

[Medic:]
I'm ze Medic, zo don't go far
You might vant a tazte of my ubercharge
Still a doctor, but I lost my license
Zis could be a problem Shiza!
I'm alvays ready vith a bloody bone saw
But I can't help much if your head is blown off
Die, schweinhund, I vill vin zis
Don't overdose on my syringes!

[Sniper:]
Boom! that's another headshot, bloke
I'm a professional, you're a joke
I mean please mate, show some respect
At least the way I'm doing it
You'll get a quick death
I'm from the outback, where things get hectic
Got a big machete that I'll slice your head with
Aussie Assassins aren't very common
But when you hear this (bullet shot), keep on running

[Spy:]
You probably know me for my disguise
And I dress as sharp as all my knives
Just when you think I'm on your team
Au revoir, mon cheri
I'm a very accomplished back stabber
Who destroys your equipment with my sapper
Gentlemen, there's a spy in our midst
And he's got plenty of ass to kick

[Hook:]
This rap is kind of overdue (right?)
But now it's time to meet the crew (tight!)
The crazy dudes of TF2
So pick a side, Red or Blue?
After I pick my class
I'm gonna kick your ass
Cuz that's what we were born to do