Growing Sideways

(album: Stick Season - 2022)

So I took my medication
And I poured my trauma out
On some sad-eyed middle aged man's
Over-priced new leather couch

And we argued about Jesus
Finally found some middle ground
I said I'm cured

And I've divvied up my anger
Into thirty separate parts
Keep the bad shit in my liver
And the rest around my heart

And I'm still angry at my parents
For what their parents did to them
But it's a start

But I ignore things
And I move sideways
'Till I forget what
I felt in the first place

At the end of the day
I know there are worse ways
To stay alive

'Cause everyone's growing
And everyone's healthy
I'm terrified that I might never have met me

Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty
I guess I'll drive
I guess I'll drive

So I forgot my medication
Fell into a manic high
Spent my savings at a Lulu
Now I'm suffering in style
Why is pain so damn impatient
Ain't like it's got a place to be
Keeps rushing me

But I ignore things
And I move sideways
'Till I forget what
I felt in the first place

At the end of the day
I know there are worse ways
To stay alive

'Cause everyone's growing
And everyone's healthy
I'm terrified that I might never have met me

Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty
I guess I'll drive

And if all my life was wasted
I don't mind I'll watch it go
It's better to die numb than feel at all

Oh, if all my time was wasted
I don't mind I'll watch it go
It's better to die numb than feel at all

So I ignore things
And I move sideways
'Till I forget what
I felt in the first place

At the end of the day
I know there are worse ways
To stay alive

'Cause everyone's growing
And everyone's healthy
I'm terrified that I might never have met me

Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty
I guess I'll drive
I guess I'll drive