The Mom Song

(album: World's Biggest Idiot - 2021)

[Kreayshawn:]
Hey (Oh)
Man, being a mom sucks ass (But I love it, hell yeah) (Sucks ass)
I can't do shit anymore, I'm fucking bored
I got no life, oh, no life
Skrrt

I got hella kids (Hella kids) and they all up in my business
I can't do shit, man (Man) these kids, they really reckless
Kids always watching Paw Patrol on my TV (Turn it off)
I just wanna watch Gossip Girl, can you leave me alone ([?])
I wanna stare at my phone and watch Tik Toks (Baby)
But I gotta wash shitty drawers and your dirty socks ([?])
I miss sleeping and fucking anywhere I want (I do)
Now I'm breast feeding in the bathroom at a restaurant (Ugh)
Calling me to come out past six PM? (Nope)
It's dinner time, cooking macaroni again (Yup)
You still belong to the streets, now there's piss in my sheets (There is)
All my friends asking me to do ketamine (Ugh)

I got kids, man, I can't do that (Nope)
I can't do that, (Nope) I can't do that
I got a baby, I can't do that (Nope)
I can't do that, (Nope) I can't do that
Buying up free granola bars for the field trip
I can't do that, (Nope) I can't do that
Can't even think of a fucking (I'm fucked up)
Way to finish this song (What?) 'cause my brain's fried
(Mom brain) I can't do it

[Christina P:]
"I'm so tired, I used to be cool" (I've changed so many diapers)
"Why does nobody tell me I'm tired of sleep"
"I used to go to the clubs" (So much poop in my life)
"And see bands play"
"Gotta take the dump, loan, in five years"
"Who needs to see this much shit everywhere?"
"Asleep by nine thirty, dog" (Watching me, two kids)
"Wake up at six. Who wakes up at six?"
"I pull batteries out of their mouth "

Hitting Target twice a week (No)
Got Starbucks just to tweak (Air conditioning)
Target Cabernet Lexapro just to sleep (Good night)
So excited buying' powder for my husband's feet ([?])
Gotta record a podcast for next week (Four strokes)
Lipstick on the walls, turds in the tub (Yuck)
Piss in my Hydro Flask (Ugh)
Just wanna hit the club (He's [?] friendly)
Used to dry hump Puerto Ricans (Yay)
Now I'm home on the weekend (Go change)
Want dick? Gotta schedule it
(Mmm. Right before ninety day fiancé)

[Kreayshawn:]
I got kids, man, I can't do that (Nope)
I can't do that, (Nope) I can't do that
I got a baby, I can't do that (Nope)
I can't do that, (Nope) I can't do that
Buying up free granola bars for the field trip
I can't do that, (Nope) I can't do that
Can't even think of a fucking (I'm fucked up)
Way to finish this song (What?) 'cause my brain's fried
(Mom brain) I can't do it

[Christina P:]
"Kreayshawn, mom tits together, on this joint, as they say. I'm gonna go home. I gotta go to bed. It's almost eight o' clock. I'm exhausted. Who stays up this late?"
"Gotta go home and milk my husband. He's all backed up. He's all pissed, grumbling about a trash. I gotta milk those nuts, drain the poison from my husband. Otherwise, my life is a misery."