July Was Mundane

(album: Even In The Tremor - 2019)

I miss the pungent sweetness of that firewood
July was poignant and dripping, July was mundane
Dipping my fingers off a lazy rowboat on the lake
Your birthday girl someplace upstate

Back when I was sure I was a misanthrope
Blaming my displeasures on the strangers laughing loudly in the woods
She walked to the water to watch the fireworks
But I wouldn't give myself the view, I stayed in bed listening to them
Crack and bloom

I miss the pungent sweetness of that Woodford's reserve
July was poignant and dripping, July was mundane
Licking my fingers to get all of the icing from the cake
Your birthday girl some place in Maine
Back when I was sure I could win her over with my words
Holding the Portland sun above her in the summer storm

I mostly made her up and fell in love with the construct
And she could eventually tell so she wished me well
And as I gathered up my clothes, another storm began to close
And crack and bloom

Even inside my hands, it hurts to claim the confused, wounded little animal I've been
Baby, I'm devastated for all my trying to change you, trying to make you
The same sorry little animal I've been
It's a feat to forgive me

Am I meant to understand my own head
As I take it from my neck and I begin to deflate it?
Am I meant to understand my own heart
As it sings my praises all day long and I evade it?
Am I meant to understand my own body
As I go out walking in an attempt to escape it?
Am I meant to understand my own soul
As I envy it floating high above me?
And I wonder who will tend my own love if not me?
If I grow it in the lilies just to ditch it in the weeds
And I wonder who would save my own world if not me?
In my morning when I bring it into being

And I wonder who would save my own world if not me?