Disrespected

(album: Over It - 2021)

'Cause I felt different in your presence
You and me meant to be like Mike and Eleven
But this cycle gets depressing
Now we both feel disrespected
I didn't mean to cling, I was afraid to lose my blessings
When I first saw you, you were eyeing me at work
I almost didn't ask, I didn't want to be a jerk
You were straight out of a dream
Eighteen and I was twenty
Not so much in common, but it felt like it was plenty
Just to feel your touch back when we were getting fucked up
Making out on drug rugs and going out on drug runs
Couple months and then you turned to a ghost
I see you out with someone else, I guess I won't approach
A while later and you're back again for round two
I wish I found the self-respect to just reject you
'Cause life was different back when you were riding shotgun
Tried to create a reason to stay, you didn't want one

If I tell you that I'm fine
Would you know that it's a lie?
I get fucked up every time
Every time I think of you
And I'm stuck-up in your eyes
I don't want to make you mine
I just want to love you right
And I won't fall, but that's a lie

We're alone, we're together
I couldn't be your home, couldn't make you feel better
I know it feels like nobody gets you
Dark heart, dark arts in your bedroom
And when your mom moved away
You were begging me to stay
But I needed my space
You were taking blunts to the face
And I wasn't feeling that
There's a time and a place
And we were both crying out for help
It's so hard to see each other
When you're focused on yourself
I've been lost for so long
You got me feeling low
Deep inside the ground
I love it when you leave
Now I hate when you're around
She says "I couldn't stay, didn't know what else to do
'Cause I believe in love, I just don't believe in
I just don't believe in you"

If I tell you that I'm fine
Would you know that it's a lie?
I get fucked up every time
Every time I think of you
And I'm stuck-up in your eyes
I don't want to make you mine
I just want to love you right
And I won't fall, but that's a lie

And now I know I've been abandoned at my post
You used to say you think of me, I know you probably don't
'Cause I'm broke and devoid of hope
No need to convince me that my life is a fucking joke
Been that way since fifth grade and this hurt is here to say
Rain on everyone's parade when you always find a way
To hurt yourself and be in pain every second, every day
And slowly come to realize it's never gonna go away