I Wish

(album: Ghostories - 2019)

I wish I wasn't fat
I wish I wasn't gay
I wish I wasn't black
I wish that I was brave
I wish, I wish, I wish
With every candle on the cake
That I could quit doing these drugs
But I can't and I'm afraid
I wish that I was smart
I wish that I was rich
I wish it wasn't hard for me
To grow up and forgive
I wish that I could help
I wish I wasn't sick
I wish I was Tom Macdonald
I'd be just like him

I wish I wasn't sober
I miss it when the party wasn't over
Happiness was right around the corner
Every single night was like the best one of our lives, now we're older
The good old days are out of reach I wish that they were closer
I wish I wasn't anxious, and I wish I could fast forward
And I wish I could rewind but they don't make that controller
I wish the nights were longer and I wish the days were shorter
And I wish that I could sleep enough to maintain my composure
I feel crazy, I wish that I was normal
I wish that I could kill myself but also be immortal
Take me to the Oracle, I heard the time is borrowed
Can you give me back my yesterdays, I'll give you my tomorrows
Forget all of my morals and just live like I cannot remember sorrow
Before all of the tattoos and the cornrows I was different
I was happy, I was calmer, I was young and full of hormones
Now I'm wishing for a time machine, I'd step into that portal
And be gone

I wish on shooting stars
Or were they satellites
Maybe they were too far
Ay-ooh, nah nah
I must have blown apart
A million dandelions
Now they don't grow in my yard
Ay-ooh, nah nah

I wish I didn't care about the day that I'd be buried
Used to live like I was ready for it, always in a hurry, now I'm worried
All my memories are blurry, I'm just barely turning 30
And the voices in my head are tryna hurt me
The choices that I made make me feel dirty, I was 25 at 13
I was smoking with the seniors, drinking beer and getting flirty
Now the Ativan ain't working I need something even stronger
Give me childhood, my mother and my father and my sister
And a Christmas to make up for all the recent ones I missed
And while I'm touring the country for a living
Give me a hug and a Nintendo and toy box in the closet
Give me everything I wish I had, oh wait, I think I got it
I'm a rapper like I always promised them I would accomplish
This is awesome man, I wish I had a friend to tell
I'd call him and I wonder if I jumped from here if I'd survive the bottom
And would everyone believe me if I told them I had fallen
I'ma jump

I wish on shooting stars
Or were they satellites
Maybe they were too far
Ay-ooh, nah nah
I must have blown apart
A million dandelions
Now they don't grow in my yard
Ay-ooh, nah nah

I wish we were kids again
Before everything was on Instagram, hey oh
Things were so simple then
Me, my tree fort, all of my friends
Way back when on Beaver Drive
Where the floor was lava, I could fly
Ayo, wished I was big like them
Never thought I'd wanna be a kid again

I wish on shooting stars
Or were they satellites
Maybe they were too far
Ay-ooh, nah nah
I must have blown apart
A million dandelions
Now they don't grow in my yard
Ay-ooh, nah nah

I wish on shooting stars
Or were they satellites
Maybe they were too far
Ay-ooh, nah nah
I must have blown apart
A million dandelions
Now they don't grow in my yard
Ay-ooh, nah nah