Yacht Birds

(album: Eating's Not Cheating - 2004)

Is she dope? Yep, ass in full effect
She walks into the room and all the guys come down with strep
Thinking they can step, their hands get wet with sweat
But she been down with me since Fett's Vette (Jets Jets)
She's a hard drinker, lollipop licker
A pistol packing mama got me posed like the thinker
She gold like the Aztecs or is it the Incas
She calls the shot and the shot be cunnilingus
She's heaven sent on the Xbox playing Halo
Wish that she would clean my pipes like she was draino
Wish she wasn't hotter than a plate of jalapenos
I feel like a kid that wants to eat like it's play-dough
You shouldn't, 'cause it should be bad for your health
Take one look at her and you'll be screaming for help
Call up the police, say put me in a cell
I can't resist this dish, I'm under Emily's spell
If you couldn't already tell, I loved every iota
Yoda shoulda told me she was off to South Dakota
One more yacht bird flew the coop
I guess old Gordy done screwed the pooch.

Only thing I love more than herb is the verb
But my luck's kinda fucked it's a wonder that I flirt
But I do and I will cause I'm still just a nerd
Ever been left behind? Let me hear ya say word

Only thing I love more than herb is the verb
But my luck's kinda fucked it's a wonder that I flirt
But I do and I will cause I'm still just a nerd
Ever been left behind? Let me hear ya say word

She's a go getter, dressed in sweater
We watched Blackhawk down together
Her name's Heather, there's no better
Didn't want her to go, but I had to let her
Remember hot weather there I first met her
Ellen was saying we should so get together
Miss going on dates girls getting dolled up
Outside the yacht club, can't believe she showed up
Scoliosis chick, one fake tit
Always bite her lip always walking with a limp
Always talking shit always begging to kiss
Cause you can't resist the lips of an MC Chris
We only had a month to hump, it was rough
She was the first one that brought over a toothbrush
She missed home, horses in the barn
Life was sucking so Kentucky was pulling her arm
Just one more bird that got away
Keep up to date by checking her LJ
On my birthday she bought me chucks
Not only does it blow, it totally sucks.

Only thing I love more than herb is the verb
But my luck's kinda fucked it's a wonder that I flirt
But I do and I will cause I'm still just a nerd
Ever been left behind? Let me hear ya say word

Only thing I love more than herb is the verb
But my luck's kinda fucked it's a wonder that I flirt
But I do and I will cause I'm still just a nerd
Ever been left behind? Let me hear ya say word

Her name was LB she was an actress
I filled up her spaces like madlibs
Way above average she was just a sad kid
So I couldn't help but give the girl my address
She lived in Texas like to get messed up
Like to tease the boys so she always got dressed up
Like to get in fights with the truckers at the rest stops
She was top notch and her bod was the best part
Fan of mine, summer time dropping me a line
Sounded kinda cute couldn't help but reply
Chilling at her pool squinting at the sky
Cell phone rings MC Chris says hi
Soon we're talking everyday flirting up a storm
Plans a road trip I say word is born
And my mind's set on porn and I think I'm gonna score
I get down on all fours start scrubing all the floors
Then I get all nervous that an accident is imminent
Never have a chance to relax and get intimate
Arrives at my drive I sigh, get all shy
So we all get all high walk down to Little Five
Do a shot, buy some pot take a seat on the street
She's cute and she's nice and she's hot and she's sweet
And she makes the first move 'cause I'm set on defeat
Then I tongue lap her flaps 'til she snaps and she screams
And she just leaves and I'm kinda relieved
No OD's, VD's hearts on my sleeve
Not a stalker just a talker ass tight as weave
Once a newbie now a groupie double clicking on me

Only thing I love more than herb is the verb
But my luck's kinda fucked it's a wonder that I flirt
But I do and I will cause I'm still just a nerd
Ever been left behind? Let me hear ya say word

Only thing I love more than herb is the verb
But my luck's kinda fucked it's a wonder that I flirt
But I do and I will cause I'm still just a nerd
Ever been left behind? Let me hear ya say word