No One Knows

(アルバム： When Stars Align - 2019)

Yeah, feels like I'm losing myself
Feels like I'm losing myself
Why am I dooming myself
Yo, fuck did I do to myself?
Should've been true to myself
Dumb to think you woulda helped
Dumb to think you woulda helped
Feels like I'm brewing in Hell
Feels like I'm brewing in Hell
Can't be hard for you to tell
I'm, stuck in a slump and I keep climbing up
I just turned 25 feels like my time is up
Feels like everyone's sus, and it's harder to trust
And I can't shake the gut feeling
Of feeling like there's a knife in my gut
And that's a gut feeling when you know deep down
That the real person you love is doing you left
That's why I left don't get upset when you see me
'Cause I didn't wanna give you up
And it's fucked to think for you I wasn't enough
I just wanted your love but you wanted his touch
There's some nights I wanna go out and get hella drunk
So everything I was feeling could turn into numb
Addicted to you, you're my favorite drug
I buy your lies, you're my favorite plug
Sometimes at night I will stare up above
And wish under a star that I wasn't so dumb
Why does it even matter? Shit, I didn't matter
I built up my hope just for it to get shattered
I'm always alone with the thoughts that I gather
I flip through my thoughts it's a terrible pattern
As if flipping through 'em will lead me to answers
I try to move forward but keep going backwards
I hide all my pain behind smiles and laughters
When no one knows that I'm a wild disaster, fuck

Give my all
Oh, I wanna walk away
I'm living like a ghost
That no one ever knows
See me fall
Oh, I knew that I would break
I'm living like a ghost
That no one ever knows

I'm, always alone wishing someone could see me
I lay in my bed staring up at the ceiling
Talking to myself until I'm overthinking
At home all alone, no one knows that I'm weeping
I swear my whole life is so fucking deceiving
And I stand for broke with the cheques I'm receiving
My money can't buy the family I'm needing
My money can't heal the agony I'm feeling
I need someone to love to me, someone to hug me
Someone to be there when my mind gets ugly
I swear they really think my life is stunning
Bro, I come home to absolutely nothing
I'm just a lonely guy loaded with money
Nobody told me my days won't be sunny
I'm bleeding on people who didn't cut me
So when they leave me, they leave me 'cause their bloody
I have issues with women, I'm so co-depended
I can't love myself so I need her to give it
And that's always where my self-worth is depicted
And that's why I date women so narcissistic
My mind is a mess and it's always conflicted
And lately, it's been hard to make a decision
And it pains me that I finally admit it
I've been suicidal and trying not to end it, fuck

Give my all
Oh, I wanna walk away
I'm living like a ghost
That no one ever knows
See me fall
Oh, I knew that I would break
I'm living like a ghost
That no one ever knows

I'm, saddened to think people that think that I'm reaching
And that is the reason I feel what I'm feeling
I may have some fame, but it's pain that I'm reaping
I been praying to God asking Him for a healing
Man, I need my mom, I need my dad
I need the family we never had
Our family's broken, I'm feeling hopeless
Nobody noticed, I'm in a trance
All I have is my daughter, I stare in her eyes
And I break down all I do is provide
How can I give her a family life, when it's just me and her every night?
Fuck, yo this shit is too much
I'm single-handedly killing my buzz
I don't make music 'cause I'm in a rut
And all of the stress of it is making me numb
Why do I dream of a Grammy and winning when I don't have family to celebrate with me?
Look, there is no bullshit excuse you could give me
To make me feel like my damn life is worth living
I swear loneliness is a cancer within me
I'm searching for friend's 'cause my family's missing
This shit is exhausting, I'm thinking of quitting
And maybe the end for me's a new beginning, fuck

Give my all
Oh, I wanna walk away
I'm living like a ghost
That no one ever knows
See me fall
Oh, I knew that I would break
I'm living like a ghost
That no one ever knows