She Left Me With The Herpes

She left me with the herpes, now why would she do that?
Last night I sat upon a chair and gave it to the cat
The cat gave it to Rover and to the mouse-y too
The mouse-y gave it to the bird, I don't know what to do

Her mother said her daughter was a nice girl and refined
It must've been another girl, certainly not mine
That darling mother's wrong, she's the only girl I knew
Since Roosevelt won the election in 1932

She left me with the herpes, even roaches won't come near
Mosquitoes will not bite me 'cause they sense my blood's not clear
My chamber maid is suing, and taking me to court
Ah, ah, she cleaned, ah
She cleaned my room the other day, and you know what she caught?

Ah, I left her with the herpes, ah, la, la, la, la, la, la
I left her with the herpes, like it was left for me
And there are many listening to this song who have it now, you see
The only good advice I give is take a book to bed
And let her take a blood test everyday that you are wed

She left me with the herpes, I don't know what to do
Ah, my life's a social wreck, boo hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo

The only good advice I give is take a book to bed
And let her take a blood test everyday that you are wed