I Think I'm Dying (Too Slow)

(アルバム： Trying - 2018)

What's a fast lane when you texting and drivin'?
What's a lane change if you ain't got the wheel?
What's a real thing if no one else can see it?
What's a real thing if it disappears? How's it feel?
You gotta prove that shit
Gotta log in, gotta like my shit
Gotta stop by, you never do that shit
Hella missed texts on a two-way street and something's gotta give
I think I'm dying too slow (Dying too slow)
And I've never been good at crying alone
I thought about killing myself (I thought about it)
I never follow through with anything, killing myself (Thought about it)
But I couldn't miss a 27 club, killing myself (Thought about it)
I thought about killing myself (Myself)
You should
Uh, it's three in the morning, I'm gon' be late for work (Work)
Something like seven hours from now
But I ain't close to finishing this verse
Don't plan on sleeping, don't plan on stopping
Don't plan on leaving, but shit can change like emotions
Everybody got too much emotion
Even those who don't show no emotion
Can't reason with the people that do
My reality check ain't make it in this month
Sometimes it comes every week
Days where standing for something has got me glued to my seat
It's back to making beats, guess it's back to being petty
Cat and mouse like I'm Tom
Running through walls like I'm Jerry
I'm 26 and alone, would've thought I'd be married
Was 25 with three phones and now I hate to make contact
Hate to find time, can't rewind that
But everything's a yes 'til we try ('Til we try)
Mmm, and realize it never makes a difference (Never does)
And what's a hit record if nobody listens? (No one)
And what's a good time if we don't post about it? (If we don't?)
Was it a good time if no one knows about it? (Ooh)
And what the fuck is with the competition?
Who gives a shit if it reached you?
Tell me now, does it reach you? Then who cares?
All of the kids that's getting tatted, I must've did something right
(Something right, something right)
Uh, forget the numbers and the streams
All that merch for a second
Ain't a fucking rapper here that got that kind of backing
That's a movement with six wheels
None of them cheap thrills
Fueled by hunger, I'm staying fed off of cheap meals
Drizzys and Meek Mills, that beef over mignon
It's way too many people talking shit over good songs
And look, we may think things
Get sad and just drink things
But just 'cause we feel things, don't mean that it's real
And just 'cause we say things, get high and believe things
And claim that we've seen things don't mean we can't try
But from here on, I'm changing
Every move I make is mine
You don't have to be invested, but you will respect my time
And you will respect my grind (Yeah)
And you will accept my features (Yeah)
And you will accept my reasons (Yeah)
Even if I don't say why (Oh-oh)
And you will know I don't reason with people that can't see it
And you will accept my flaws, if I say it then I mean it
If I speak out, then recede it
If I tweet out, then delete it
Then the truth is I was drunk
And it was sobering to see it (Yeah, yeah)
But that's life, we just move on, do better in the future
For the first time in a while, I'm excited for my future (I am)
If you ain't part of my future
That's on you and you know why (You know)
And I'd rather drop when ready
Than to show up and just smile (Smile, smile)
Because who the hell am I if to you I'm just a liar?
So let's focus on the truth, I just haven't been inspired
I just can't help but feel numb, I just can't help but feel dumb
I don't like the things I've done, I don't like who I've become
I don't like my situation, I don't think I'm made for labels
Think I'm better off alone, think I need my own vocation
I'm a fuck-up by design, always outside of the lines
I'll be happy, but for now, here's my favorite illustration

I think I'm dying too slow