A Little Work (Apple Music Deluxe Visual Experience Edition Bonus Track)

(アルバム： Double Dutchess - 2017)

I got to a point where I was seeing devils everywhere. Devil faces. Creatures that would appear to me in which they'd fly, fly, fly, and not even maybe saying it, but just looking at me and flying around. I would constantly be in this state of listening to the messages that all these characters and these demons or creatures, what, what they were going to tell me and what their messages were, and what I should do, and life became almost like this, this whole game. I was just gonna lose it, I was about to start screaming at everybody on the street. I ended up on Wilshire and I saw this church and I was, you know, there's nobody in there. I started going through the different aisles and started to pray. I saw the altar, and panicked. I, I, I thought, "This is it. They're all out there. That's it. This is it. This is the moment."

Got a lot of answers I'm looking for in these meds
'Bout time I talk to somebody, shrink my head
A lot of promises, broken things that were said
And I can't get out of this bed
Got bruises on my heart, plenty scars on my mind
Got blisters under the band-aid over my life
Gonna rip it open and show the world what's there
Lord knows I'm not perfect

When everything around me starts to fall
I rise up again to the call

We're all just a little bit broken (Yeah)
We're all just a little bit hurt (Yeah)
We've all got wounds half open (Yeah)
We all can use a little work
A little work, a little work

I, I have journals of it all, and I, I remember writing to myself throughout, you know, the periods of my life. That's how I can divulge my true feelings because it's been difficult to trust for me in my life. So the paper was always where I could emotionally get to those, those, those crevices, those little corners of feelings. I'm so glad I did it because at least I was checking in with myself. At least I knew that I was becoming a fuck-up.

Gotta wait, first of the month to pick up that check
He bounced, left, it was over, never came back
Had a lot of questions 'bout daddy after he left
Now it's just momma and them kids, and she said
"I'll hold her down, don't you worry, we'll find a way
No matter how, I'll make sure the bills get paid"
She gave it all and thank God their mouths got fed
She prayed the cycle would end

When everything around me starts to fall
I rise up again to the call

We're all just a little bit broken (Yeah)
We're all just a little bit hurt (Yeah)
We've all got wounds half open (Yeah)
We all can use a little work
A little work, a little work

I had to really work hard at telling the spirit, the vision, to go away. I had to say it out loud: "Leave me alone, I choose the good." It was just this epiphany I had in the, in the war, that I believe in the holy war, the war between good against evil and that good will always be more powerful.

We're all just a little bit broken (Yeah)
We're all just a little bit hurt (Yeah)
We've all got wounds half open (Yeah)
We all can use a little work
A little work, a little

My grandfather, I always thought he was my guardian angel. My, my Grandpa Gore on my, uh, mom's side. And so I thought that he was leading me, telling me where to go, in the good direction. You gotta honor that part of yourself and let yourself fly, let yourself soar. And that's really taking those steps and getting there are those steps, and that battle, that fight in your mind, it's all here, and it's all internal, and it's making those little, those choices that are the hardest choices to make because they're not comfortable. They don't feel good all the time, making those choices, because they're the right ones to make.

I rise up again to the call

We're all just a little bit broken (Yeah)
We're all just a little bit hurt (Yeah)
We've all got wounds half open (Yeah)
We all can use a little work
A little work, a little work

I was living in an alternate, parallel universe to what was really going on in the world. I kept feeling like this weird kinetic energy through my body. Feel it around me, it was all encompassing. It was like this crazy laser camera that was following me. They're watching, everybody's watching. They're all gonna get me, the SWAT team, everything. This was real fear, serious fear.

Sometimes when you feel like you need it
They send in the medic, woah
But if it's your soul that is bleeding
That slow drip won't help it, no
It's time to get up to the front of the line
The guards of the battle and straight for the mind
Well, well, well, well
There's nothing that's holding you down
Stuck on the ground, far from the crown
'Cause you are a warrior more than you know

We're all just a little bit broken (Yeah)
We're all just a little bit hurt (Yeah)
We've all got wounds half open (Yeah)
We all can use a little work
A little work, a little work

That walk out of there, all of that, that demon that was there, it all of a sudden felt like it just lifted, and it was almost like walking into the light. And I've realized that I finally needed to honor myself and that, uh, is really a, a, still a, a challenging place, that I, that I often have to work on to this day. But when I honor my true self, and I honor that part of me that is that magic, that's when I am at that place that I can call happy. I can feed that love outward, not only to friends and to my parents and to my sister, and now to my husband and to my little boy.