Dear Nova

And when I started had a heart full of fire
Stomach fulla hunger, scars from the liars
I got mad weed but I can never find my lighter
They tried to break me down but I am strong like a tiger

Smoke my bowls
I'm feeling broken it's beautiful
See so much shit with no pharmaceuticals
Drunk on the sidewalk, city under my feet
Walk 100 blocks tryna figure out why I'm me

And I been hurt, but that's mine like a secret
Somewhere in a shadow where you you can't see it
Only I will know the shit I been through
And I'll probably never tell you truth

I will keep the fucking pain to myself
I'll pretend I'm not a mess, and just cells
I'll keep the fucking rapes to myself
And the hate for myself, to myself
Like everybody else

Streets so dark and the park looks bright
Jumping off swings, tryna reach new heights
Hitting bowls in the slides, counting stars in the skies
My reflection in the window, I get lost in my eyes

I look into the moments as they all coincide
Block time, and I'm with myself on all those shitty nights
Sitting on a suitcase, under city lights
Had to run away because it wasn't really right

Took so many planes, met so many faces
Fell in love so often, broke in all the same places
I could hear a voice, it sounded like a boy
Drink 'cause he get louder when I'm wasted

And I laugh when my exes get stabbed
'Cause I'm a bad person, fuck me
And he hits me up and I don't give a damn
'Cause I'm not that person who leaves
No, I will stay and drown
I wanna be trapped under as it crumbles to the ground
Crooked is my crown
Yelling fuck it I'm down
And throwing everything in reach

You left your shit and I covered it in bleach
I can tear apart the world that we created in a week
And I can't fucking help but tell everyone I meet
When I crawl up on stage, throw my heart down at your feet
I'm throwing everything in reach
I'm throwing everything in reach

Remember me
That bitty with mean right swinger
The one you wanna dine out but don't like dinner
Who go catch you with a side ho and throw an appliance
If you didn't want war why'd you break the alliance?

Breach, throwing everything in reach
Man, I covered hella shit in gasoline or bleach
I will set fire to the sheets
I will fucking cut you until you're meat

Dear Nova
If I could tell you shit
You'll forgive yourself for everything you did
Every heart you broke, and every time you shattered
And how you'd do it all again, like a pattern

One day you'll go to meetings
The pain will turn laughter
They'll write you big checks, and you'll think it doesn't matter
You just want to rap, and you know you'll go to hell and back
To tell the world they're dying and nobody wants to tell 'em that

But that's one day, that's one too many days away
I know you wanna die you'll barely make it through today
And every single guy you fall in love with walks away
'Cause they don't have the same pain in them that makes you grey

Dear Nova
I'm from another plane
I know sometimes you hear me in your brain
When you dumb high, think you went insane
I'm the person that you come to with your pain