The Cat Is Dead

Oh, deedle-dee three tots are we
And we're as clever as can be
We live with Grandma Ida
And our dear, old Grandpa Ned
And little, Baby Mike (the brat)

And don't forget the Siamese cat
And in the attic from Detroit is great, fat Uncle Fred
Oh Grandpa wishes he were rich
And Grandma just complains (the bitch)

And Uncle Fred sits drunk in bed
Mike cries all night and day
The cat thinks that he owns the place
He bites and scratches on the face

It'd be so nice if they all went away
Away! Away-dee-dae-dee-dae-dee-dae-dee-dae-dee-dae-dee-dae-dee-dae

The cat is dead! The cat is dead!
I went to pat him on the head
He didn't purr, he didn't meow
He didn't blink or sniff

He seemed to have a funny smile
That made me laugh but all the while
The tail that used to flip and flop got awful cold and stiff

We chopped him into little bits
And seasoned him with apple bits
And with some dust,
We made a crust
And put him in a pie

Into the oven he did slip
Until the crust was nice and crisp
I'll love the little kittie til I die
I die! I die-dee-die-dee-die-dee-die-dee-die-dee-die-dee-die

The cat is dead! The cat is dead!
And Mikey too and Uncle Fred,
Expiring all so suddenly
While sipping down some tea

The tea was hot
The tea was nice
Some stricnine and a little spice
To cover up the funny taste of our conspiracy

When Grandpa saw what we had done
He went straight for his hunting gun
But we were quick, we stole the clip
The rest is history

To make sure Grandma wouldn't flee
We gave her a labotamy
And now she's just as happy as can be
Can be! Can be-dee-dle-dee-dle-dee-dle-dee-dle-dee-dle-dee-dle-dee

The cat is dead! The cat is dead!
I went to pat him on the head
He didn't purr, he didn't meow,
He didn't blink or sniff

He seemed to have a funny smile
That made me laugh but all the while
The tail that used to flip and flop
Got awful cold and stiff

We chopped him into little bits,
And seasoned him with apple bits
And with some dust, we made a crust
And put him in a pie

Into the oven he did slip
Until the crust was nice and crisp
I'll love the little kitty 'til I die!
I die! I die-dee-die-dee-die-dee-die-dee