All My Stalkers

This is a little song that Jon and I wrote; we felt it was time for this song...

I was once a great big star
I had a string of hits
The years they flew by
Before I knew my
Career was in the pits

Now I'm doing Walmart openin's
For whoever might appear
Looking around that thinning crowd
It's getting kind of weird
'Cause...

All my stalkers use walkers
All my old groupies wear Depends
All my stalkers use walkers
It seems the glitz and glamour never ends

Tell it like it is brother Tom...

Now and then I try to be that guy
When I would be real hot stuff
Prove to myself
There's still some health
That I can muster up

Show the girls I'm still that virile
Picture of perfection
Trouble is, these days all I can raise
Is my acid indigestion
'Cause...

All my stalkers use walkers
All my old groupies wear Depends
All my stalkers use walkers
It seems the glitz and glamour never ends

Now I still have ways of passion yet
But it proves to be a bummer
'Cause it's about that time my dentures slip
And all I do is gummer
'Cause...

All my stalkers use walkers
All my old groupies wear Depends
All my stalkers use walkers
It seems the glitz and glamour never ends
Thank God the glitz and the glamour never end