(Nobody Else Can Love Me Like) My Old Tomato Can

Women always flirt with Pat and pinch him on the cheek
He makes a bigger hit with them than any living chic
And gee, I've got a million girls, but I just pass them by
I never even tip my hat, and here's the reason why

I love my old tomato, my old tomato
Because nobody else can love me like my old tomato can
Her cornbeef and her cabbage are way above the average
And I'm proud to be her man
You can have your Sallys, and your Mary Janes
But none of them compare with my old ball and chain
I love my old tomato, my old tomato
Because nobody else can love me like my old tomato can

I get matched up everyday and the secret, I'll tell you
From showgirls in the music box and in the follies, too
And gee they walk a million miles by little smiles and see
I never even tip that hat, and here's the reason why

I love my old tomato, my old tomato
Because nobody else can love me like my old tomato can
Her cornbeef and her cabbage are way above the average
And I'm proud to be her man
When she tries to crown me with a rolling pin
I never even holler, all I do is grin
I love my old tomato, my old tomato
Because nobody else can love me like my old tomato can
Take it, boys

You can have your Sallys, and your Mary Janes
But none of them compare with my old ball and chain
I love my old tomato, my old tomato
Because nobody else can love me like my old tomato can
My old tomato, my old tomato
Because nobody else can love me like my old tomato can