Literal Skyrim Trailer

Bethesda Game Studios
Should probably fire their helicopter cameraman
Ominously lit carving of some dragons
Cameraman running through the forest
Slow zoom on a carving of Gandalf and his friends
Confused dragon trying to mate with some birds.

The first Tie-Fighter
Overworked cameraman running through the snow
Carving of an ancient tug-of-war (slow dramatic zoom)
Running towards a tiny hill. STOP!! That's a cliff!

Carvings of dragons breathe carvings of fire
Dude, turn around or you'll die
Shaky rocky formation
Pan down then it opens its eye
Pull out your sword on a ledge
Carving is rooting for the dragon
Sword-fighting a dragon in the snow's gotta be cold.
OR NOT!

Show the fire carving burning the shield carving
Leg carving. Medium-shot carving
He's regretting wearing a sleeveless tunic for this fight (VOICE ATTACK!)

But his voice went too far right
It went to a mountain town and a forest.
Stop for the night
In the morning, pass the windmill to a natural stone rocky formation bridge
Then it snows on a stream.
There's a giant. Follow him, then him.
Shave a dragon, and a werewolf, and the patron is next (Battle axe)!
Help him floss!

Shoot a frostbit at a wall, spin attack (FAIL!)
Fire-bomb, dragon leaves when his barber is done
Shoot a puppy with an arrow, make a ball in your hands (Get stabbed!)

Dragon wants a refund, sneak-smack a big spider
Then barber gives dragon free touch-ups on his way out
That's why you should sit still at the barber
Dragon's soul tells off the clumsy barber
Then it goes through the trees to tell its back-up
"Thanks for nothing." Skyrim.
The Elder Scrolls, V. 111111. Dots.