Merry Fistmas

Move over Mariah Carey and go fuck yourself Michael Buble because this holiday season there's a new Christmas cover album that's sure to fit snugly up inside your yuletide stocking. It's "Tom Cardy presents: Fistmas Time, Volume 1".

It's beginning to look a lot like Fistmas...

That's right, all your favorite classic Christmas songs but with a modern twist that's sure to delight the entire family.

I'm dreaming of a white Fistmas...

It's as simple as changing a single word in a Christmas song that already exists, but Tom Cardy has done it over and over and over and over and over again. He can't be stopped, we're trying to stop him.

Have a holly jolly Fistmas
It's the best time of the Fistmas

That's right, Tom Cardy's back and this time he's got Covid. Bathe in the Christmas Magic that is the Covid fever dream of a musician trying to flesh out a half idea he came up with before becoming violently ill.

Fistmas baby, buh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh, duh-duh-duh
Fistmas, the joke is I've changed teh words
Fistmas baby, coming down the chimney, please
I wanna have sex with your knees