Stuck In A Loop

(앨범: Psycho Therapy - 2020)

Life ain't really what it fucking seems like
I use to push through but now it feels like
Theres nothing I can do
Trapped inside my mind yeah I'm stuck up in the loop

I forget who I am
To tell you the truth I don't feel like a man
I feel like a monster thats stuck in his head
I see no escape and I'm stuck where I am
Damn
This is where all of it ends
I'm airing it out and I'm getting on meds
Cuz I needed help
But the people I tell
Will tell me be happy it's all in my head
Do you know what it's like
Know what it's like
To wake up and panic you're scared for your life
So you reach for the meds but the meds isn't there
Cuz we took them away when you said you was aight
Now I'm trapped in a fight
Looking for something I know I can't find
The map to be happy is so fucking close
I discovered the mountain but now I can't climb
And that is discouraging
But when I get pressure I'm flourishing
So maybe I'll take all the pain thats fighting my brain then bottle and bury it
Or maybe embrace and encourage it
Wait maybe I'll baby and nourish it
Wait maybe I'll make you a track about how I'm depressed and I bet you'll encourage it
Why do you people think different than me
I need the cure my evil is pure don't listen to me
Sit in my room, stare at the roof thats just something I do
Will tomorrow be different cuz lately I feel like I'm stuck in the loop

Life ain't really what it fucking seems like
I use to push through but now it feels like
Theres nothing I can do
Trapped inside my mind yeah I'm stuck up in the loop

I forget who I am
To tell you the truth I don't feel like a man
I feel like a dude who's abusing his meds
To run from the issues he thinks that he has
Damn
This is where all of it ends
I'm standing my ground I ain't falling again
Cuz I need some help
I'm fighting myself
They tell me I'm crazy it's all in my head
What the fuck do you know about waking up sad
Making excuses for shit that you say
You're stuck in a loop and you're scared to admit it
So nobody knows that you're living in pain
Man its driving you crazy
Thinking bout what all these people would say
They'd say that you're living a dream and ain't really sad cuz you got a smile on your face
But they don't know bout all the trauma
No they dont know bout all your problems
And they dont know bout all the demons you dealing with
Dying when you was a toddler
Never had childhood only had fear
Talked to the reaper when you was a mere
4 years old, know what that did
It gave you depression when you was a kid
You try to be honest, telling the doctor bout what's on your mind
He said that its puberty give it a year and I bet you'll be fine
You're 20 years old, you're feeling the same you got nothing to lose
Cuz life isn't bringing you joy, its bringing you pain and you're stuck in the loop

Life ain't really what it fucking seems like
I use to push through but now it feels like
Theres nothing I can do
Trapped inside my mind yeah I'm stuck up in the loop

I forget who I am
To tell you the truth I don't feel like a man
I feel like a loser thats losing his friends
I push them away when I'm losing my head
Damn
This is where all of it ends
Im speaking my mind and I'm plotting revenge
Cuz I needed help
And people could tell
But they went and left me to suffer again
But I know what it's like when you see it
Your homies are battling through
And you aren't a therapist so you pretend you don't notice
But they know you do
And now it's too awkward to even be with them
So you just leave them right out of the blue
Now they all thinking that they was the reason but deep in your mind
You know it was you
So now you feel guilty for shit that you said
But you got that pride that you're bottling in
And you won't admit that you're killing your homie
You look to the side and forget it again
But every message he sends, a beep to your phone
But you never read it you leave it alone
Making him feel like he's living in hell so he's burning himself just to feel he's at home
These are the times where I like to reflect what I think of myself
I act like a victim in most situations I think I need help
Why are you hiding your feelings from them you got nothing to prove
So fuck all of that, just think of a way to get out of this loop