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Loving Me, Losing You

 

Loving Me, Losing You


We fall, we climb
Sometimes, sometimes
Our hearts are too wild
Sometimes, sometimes

When I'm feeling pain, write about it, that's how I deal
Music is the only time that I'm expressing just how I feel
I gotta amputate for the fact that it wasn't real
I can't stay connected to something bad and expect to heal
My stomach's turning, disgusted, can barely manage it
I'm filled with all this anger and I don't know how to handle it
I can't identify half of the feelings that I sit through
I'm holding back from telling you really how much I miss you
You denied anything I was ever offering
My head never stopped spinning from all of the thoughts that I'm caught up in
Here we go again, we're on again, we're off again
Yeah I lost a lover, more importantly I lost a friend
We live and learn and every failure is a lesson
I can't witness the bigger picture but this has to be a blessing
There's always beauty in struggles, that's what I choose to see
When I was loving you, in the midst of it I was losing me

We fall, we climb
Sometimes, sometimes
Our hearts are too wild
Sometimes, sometimes

I regret my biggest mistake and that's vulnerability
I'm stubborn, my bluntness take me under and now it's killing me
I'm doing any everything just to just to get over you
And I remember the moment that I noticed you, yeah you know it's true
Another chapter in my book that's always open
Any wall I tried to build with you got demolished and broken
I'm staring in the mirror talking like "listen Chaz it's over
Now forget about the past, keep it moving, accept the closure"
I've always been myself, can't pretend to be someone else
It was ambiguous, it was confusion, mixed with happiness I felt
You were someone in my life I never wore a mask for
You've seen the real me as I am filling up your snack drawer
I'm reminiscing running my fingers through your hair
I stopped praying, I don't feel worthy of prayer
I was searching for something from you and realized there was nothing there
I see my world crashing and honestly I don't fucking care

We fall, we climb
Sometimes, sometimes
Our hearts are too wild
Sometimes, sometimes

We fall, we climb
Sometimes, sometimes
Our hearts are too wild
Sometimes, sometimes

It's hard to concentrate, I can't even think straight
And when I'm asked how I'm doing, "look everything's great"
And everyone knows I'm lying, yes I'm lying to myself
And as I'm welcoming punishment, in this agony I melt
It wasn't about the sex, it was more about our connection
You were the one that I wanted to have my loyalty, protection
I was expressing every night what you meant to me, my confession
We were travelling together, just not in the same direction

I remember the night on the beach, one of the best nights of my life
We did impressions back and forth and that euphoria was nice
I'd embarrass myself for you just to make you laugh
Then were telling each other secrets, no one knows about our past
I'm finding it impossible to erase all of these memories
As someone that truly cared is how I pray that you'll remember me
There's always beauty in struggles, that's what I choose to see
When I was loving you, in the midst of it I was losing me

We fall, we climb
Sometimes, sometimes
Our hearts are too wild
Sometimes, sometimes

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