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conscience

He Loves Me

 

He Loves Me


Momma calls it tough love
I call it not enough
Told me, "Toughen up"
But I've been beaten, I've been shoved
I just need a crutch
Say, "He just like that, bubby, he ain't that in touch
With all that lovey-dove stuff"
But I just want a hug
Or just a conversation once
Is that too much
For me to ask a father of?
I know I got you, momma, but I ask God above
Why He put another dad in my life if I can only go to mom
'Cause he don't like to talk, he don't like to play
If I ask if we could throw the ball, "No, not today"
Every day
And I still go to ask in hopes the answer might change
But every single time it hasn't, I can't help but overthink
Maybe dad isn't too fond of me
Compared the bond to mom and me
And I see someone by my side and someone who don't wanna be
But maybe he's just tired, or maybe he's just tired of me
I seen him with my brother, wish he spared some time for me
So I just started praying to the father up above me
Maybe we could talk, laugh it up up in the front seat
Know this might be much, maybe one day he could hug me
Maybe I could hear him once tell me that he loves me

Tell me that he loves me
Tell me that he loves me
Tell me that he loves me
Just once
Tell me that he loves me
Tell me that he loves me
Tell me that he loves me
Tell me that he loves me
Just once

But momma say she been through it, too
Her daddy was a cold-hearted man sipping the booze
He ain't the type to fit a suit, from his head to his shoes
The man was leathered up and never thought twice to leather his wife, mother of two
All he did was work and drink, nothing sat in between
With every sip, his heart shrunk, and momma's would sink
She had to fend for herself, eventually had me
And with all that going on, she grew up in a blink
Her daddy's old now, she taking care of him
He grew sick, momma made sure she was there for him
She helped him eat, shower, sleep, despite his narrative
Found out it was cancer, and sadly, there he went
She cried and cried like it was unseen
In just telling me this, she had to hug me
But days before he died, when I had helped him upheave
For the very first time pulled me close, and he told me that he loves me

Tell me that he loves me
Tell me that he loves me
Tell me that he loves me
Just once
Tell me that he loves me
Tell me that he loves me
Tell me that he loves me
Tell me that he loves me
Just once

Tell me that he loves me
Tell me that he loves me
Tell me that he loves me
Tell me that he loves me
Just once

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