Cyrus Hutchings

I just wake up every day, I do what I have to do
No excuses, no complaining, I just fucking follow through
And life's a struggle, but it's fine, at least I thought
But then they fucking canceled me 'fore following my heart
And life's a bitch, but she's a widow, all by herself
She likes to force a hand but doesn't like when she get dealt
It ain't a game when she got stakes, nah
But I'ma still slow clap in her face, well done
And there's levels to this shit, I'm the God damn tutorial
Never been to service, but I'll show to your memorial
Check out your gravestone, they'll say you tried
They'll say you tried your best and then died
And I would have to have a fuck to give, to give you any
I went and made some change for me, a couple pennies
And honestly I'm good with only that, that percentage
Because I'd rather keep it than to write your ass a check
And I rewrote this verse like a hundred times
And I swear you should've heard the other 99
But it's like I can't help myself, I'm too inspired
I would've cut a Drake verse too, I swear to God
I used to worry all the time 'bout everybody else
Like I was doing something wrong for trying to be myself
And so I stopped listening to all these other rappers
And it wasn't long after that they didn't matter
Dawg, it's me, myself, and I, and all of us are doing great
I just made a fucking smoothie soon as I racked all my weights
I ran like ten something miles, I ain't keeping track
My foot's just on the gas because I couldn't catch a break
Just trying to figure out some shit, cause life is fucking crazy
I'd call that girl a bitch, but then she'd probably want my babies
Kind of funny how it works, only want it if it hurts
And lately I can't help but feel like that's what I deserve

And that talk, yeah that's cheap
Taking anything we get, because we
Just feel, so bleak
Like, what's the point of doing anything
Cause I, can't be
The person you need me to be
Cause that, ain't me
And I

I wonder why I'm trying
I wonder if there's something wrong with me
I wonder if I'm dying
I wonder if there's something wrong with me
I wonder if

The reason I don't answer your calls, is because I know I'd have me a panic attack
And it isn't your fault, I just can't seem to find a way out of my head
I just never thought I would meet someone like you
I just never knew I could be happy
And it took me 28 years to feel like I was 21 with a dream
Like I could take on the world, I had a love for a woman that gave a fuck about me
I knew I couldn't have kids, I mean, I hated the fact my father went and had his
A life that I had to live, a sentence I didn't pick, so I just couldn't commit
But for a second I thought, well, fuck it, maybe I could, but then as soon as I did
That flame it withered away, to ashes inside a tray, without a phoenix in sight
Like, what the fuck was the point, I navigated through the dark to realize there's no light
I fucking would've took a bullet, super-manned that shit, but soon as I put on that cape I fucking snagged that shit
And here's the truth of the matter, since no one has that shit
Is that nobody gives a fuck until you have that shit
I tried that waiting on some change shit, but that shit don't work
Because the people you look up to don't put in that work
As soon as I cut off that heat, you saw that well ran dry
Because the truth is I was running shit that whole damn time
I had to separate myself before I killed somebody
Because I knew that I would probably end up that somebody
And I ain't ever had that COVID, but I've been 19, that's when I caught the fucking bug to do incredible things
I wrote some songs in an apartment where I ain't have rent
And then performed them in some cities that I ain't ever been
I had my mama slanging merch at all my sold out shows
So she could see how many people knew the words I wrote
And so when I be getting down, I just remind myself
I don't need no one else, just Cyrus Hutchings