I Just Wanted Love

I was 10 in my room praying looking at the sky
Crying cause I didn't like the fact that I was bi
Couldn't figure out why
But I'd try
Begging God to make me straight cause I just wanna like guys
Nobody knew I was ashamed so I was very homophobic
Fighting things inside of me and hoping no one noticed
Turned 14 it was my life it was the focus
Seeing pretty girls and falling fast cause I was hopeless

But I ain't wanna be like this because I knew I was ashamed
Cutting on my wrist and asking God to take the pain
It felt like everyday was rain
Because my adolescence brain
Would listen to the ones around me saying that I'm strange

And I ain't wanna be like this because I knew I was ashamed
Cutting on my wrist and asking God to take the pain
It felt like everyday was rain
Because my adolescence brain
Would listen to the ones around me saying that I'm strange

When I was 16 I ran home from school
Went into my room and locked the door and grabbed the stool
Wrote a note to everyone and said the world is cruel
Asking God for mercy cause I couldn't take the rules
And I was crying I was screaming asking god to take this pain away
And if I die tonight they will forget me it will fade away
And something in my head was tellin me to put the blade away
The devil saying do it but the angel saying stay today

I just wanted love
For someone to just tell me that it's fine
I wanted to feel loved
I wanted time
I just wanted conversation
A mental health day for vacation
I just wanted to be heard I wanted patience

But I ain't wanna be like this because I knew I was ashamed
Cutting on my wrist and asking God to take the pain
It felt like everyday was rain
Because my adolescence brain
Would listen to the ones around me saying that I'm strange

And I ain't wanna be like this because I knew I was ashamed
Cutting on my wrist and asking God to take the pain
It felt like everyday was rain
Because my adolescence brain
Would listen to the ones around me saying that I'm strange

And now that I'm older
I'm glad that I made it
Cause I can be me
And I don't gotta fake it
Teenager me would be so proud so proud

And now that I'm older
I'm glad that I made it
Cause I can be me
And I don't gotta fake it
Teenager me would be so proud

Cause I just wanted love
For someone to just tell me that it's fine
I wanted to feel loved
I wanted time
I just wanted conversation
A mental health day for vacation
I just wanted to be heard I wanted patience

Now I'm ok with being me and I am no longer am ashamed
It's ok cause you don't gotta feel the pain
Just remember it's a rainbow at the end of every rain
Straight, bi, trans, lesbian its loving all the same

Now I'm ok with being me and I am no longer am ashamed
It's ok to be whoever you don't gotta feel the pain
Just remember it's a rainbow at the end of every rain
Straight, bi, trans, lesbian its loving all the same

And now I feel the love
I feel like I can be myself
Strangers all around the world they help
This little girl inside
Is now filled with so much pride
The hatred in my heart has died