E3 2016 (RAP REVIEW)

(Scra)
You already know what it is
Ya know what I'm saying?
It's ya boy NakeyJakey
A.K.A. Snakey Jakey
A.K.A. Halo 2, let's get it

Microsoft started off their show
With the same old shit from Gears of War 4
Then this guy thought FFXV looked funny
Xbox Live was built upon the passion
Of it's fans and a lot of money
They go make another console
And they think we all stupid
'Cause they made a big announcement
Oh, look, background music
Inside looks so beautiful
I'm crying on the inside
We Happy Few looks seriously
Looks fuckin looks spooky as fu

Quake trailer had really good sound effects
(Bruh, Bruh)
Fallout 4 DLC solidified
New Vegas is the best 'cause it's an RPG
Not the Sims
I don't give a shit about no fucking settlement
I'm elegant, of course they come out with
Their greatest game they made again
I'm happy they supporting my baby girl, DOOM
Though I just secretly hope
Prey is another DOOM
Bro, Dishonored 2 looks so dang pretty
They claim they added more
Verticality to the city
I hope the stealth options are deep
I hope the story doesn't suck
But if the gameplay is good
I'ma play that game 'til I poop my butt

How should Ubisoft start their show?
Oh, of course! With another Just Dance
And a motherfucking horse
This is how Ubi-shit sees their audience:
"We gonna show you scripted gameplay
Then you give us all your money, bitch!"
Ooh, they got a Ass. Creed movie, bro
Well, at least we'll get the fractured butt hole
And For Honor looks like it could be neat too
Trials is cool, but I wanted Blood Dragon 2
Maybe Watchdogs 2 won't be a big piece of shit
Still, I wouldn't touch that game
With a ten foot dick (Ten foot dick)
Nick Robinson made a good point on Twitter that
What kind of hacker advertises that he
Hacks on his fucking hat

Battlefield 1 is a game
Which is probably going to be okay

Sony started off their fucking show
With an orchestra done with some trombones
Then they showed that God of War
Had a baby guy that hunts
'Cause this game wants to be
Like the fucking Last of Us
There's so many zombie games
But this one is Days Gone
Even if this game is good
What kind of fucking name is Zero Dawn? Uh!
I like the trailer for Detroit
Like Crash, but I hate them toys
FF got VR now so you can look at boobs
While you hang with the boys
I'm happy that they making Spider-man
What's that spooky sound?
Oh, it's VII, zombie man
This space game looks cool
Goddammit, it's COD
Then Kojima dropped the hottest trailer
Featuring Norman Reedus' naked bod
I've been waiting for this game
Since, like, 8th grade
There's a lot of fucking hype now
But I'm just happy it got made well
Happy it got made well
Happy it got made well
Happy it got made well
Good job, Sony, you did a good job
I'm proud of ya
(Huh!)

I remember when I used to be excited 'bout Nintendo
Waiting in the fucking cold at 4 AM to hold a Wiimote
Or back in '98, when my brother got OoT
I was only 4 years old, but I remember everything
And now they're bringing emotions back
To a boy who thought he lost 'em
When he realized Zelda games
Weren't exactly always awesome
Then my boy Reggie comes out
And then he's like: Do y'all feel me
You could say my body's ready
When that shit looks like some ghibli ass magic
They showed off all that Pokémon bullshit
Another damn addition to a series that they milk it
I don't give a single God damn shit about Vacuumon
Please, just put that hot ass Zelda shit back on
They did it and it's so hot
And it's so fresh and it's so clean
I pray to God that this game is good
But there is no guarantee
That it won't suck, that it won't blow
But I have hope that they speak the truth
When they say they want to reinvent
By sticking to their roots
I just want to explore, please
Don't tell me what to do
You're gonna make a lot of money
Either way so, please
Make a good game to NakeyJakey
(Hah!)