Resident Evil 7 (RAP REVIEW)

Resident Evil came back

With a brand new fresh perspective
Like this shit's good, but no fright, my appetite
Wants something more like this to get spooky
Environments that feel more real than horror movies
Capcom came back to the roots (God damn)
Dude somebody had to fill them shoes (oh God damn!)
Got that 1080p 60 FPS
I haven't been this chill since I ate that Jill Sandwich

Please don't you go get it twisted
It might be FPS but it ain't shifted
It brought back novelties like item management
Low ammo count means scavenging environment
Got them item based puzzles back too (dog bless)
Except they're easier than shit damn dude (aw shit)
And there's a lot more stealth, but it doesnt really help that without VR you can't peek around shelves (oh no)

It may not look like RE, but underneath it all there's a story to see
Now I'm looking back at the things that I see
Look them in the face and say
I know where you live, I know where you live, I know where you live (oh noo nooo)

Young Jakey bring the fire, bring the bullets, bring the pocket knife too
All these guns make me feel like I'm in Bad Boys 2
I'm a real bad dude with a shotgun too
The boomstick in this games among the best I've used
Chick pow, chick boom, baby chicken got spooked
Just kidding, I'm not
Just kidding, I-I pooped my pants, but only like 60 times
If I pooped 9 more that's a 69 (okay)

I'm loving how this game feels
But I don't love the boring enemies, I've been real
The old games got more enemy variety
But now I only get the molded saying hi to me
No patience for the hide and seek, unless its imogen heap
Mmmmm whatcha ass say when you scream at me
The voice acting is surprisingly quality given the qualities previous games had problems in quantity

Fucking up the competition far as I know
This can outlast outlast fo sho
The kind of terror that sticks with you
On a level beyond what jump scares do
It ain't perfect, it's flawed
But it's a damn good new fresh start
For a series so close to my heart
I'm happy you're back to your spooky ass
Dark capcom dog bless

It may not look like RE, but underneath it all there's a story to see
Now I'm looking back at the things that I see
Look them in the face and say
I know where you live, I know where you live, I know where you live (oh noo nooo)

Its not what I expected
But the story had me chilled by the end
I've read the VR is insane
So maybe play that with a friend
I've got my gripes and shit
Some things I would've changed
But it's a solid 8 outta 10 because its a great game (stay sharp)

Shout out to my good friend Teri, fuck around his ass is scary
Also shout out to my hot boy Cameron Bishop
Real real sweet giving me the hiccups
And my golden boy Cinovox, more legendary than the tale of goldie locks
And who could forget that 9 Pound Silicone Cock
Dude's got a magnum dong (uh huh)
I'm also talking bout that Foxymophandle, everything that dude does is a damn scandal
And what's that sweet sweet smell I'm smelling?
Oh that's Will Melon
And last but before I'll be leaving, I gotta thank that hot boy Stephen
All of you have been so God damn kind, thank you for believing
Follow me on Twitter, follow me on Instagram, follow me on Twitch
And we could livestream a thanksgiving ham
Good lord, good gravy what the shit you should shave me
My beard is so gross that I look like a baby who had a malfunction on his face
Got so much hair coming out of that sweet little soft ass face
Babies are cute, I got a little nephew, he's cute too
What the fuck happened, why are all these babies so cute?
Get these babies out of my room