Starting To Scare Me

There's a girl on the internet and she drives me insane
I should probably look into it but I'd rather complain
I throw gas on the fire cause I don't wanna change
I just keep choosing the pain

There's a crack in my windshield I probably won't ever fix
I been breaking my neck so I can see around it
And I know I know better but I'm stubborn as shit
I'm just a sucker for it

I keep digging myself deeper
I'm not mad about it either

Maybe I should care
Maybe I should stop
But the more I wear it the more I like
How it feels on me
Have I lost my mind
I'm still me but barely
I'm starting to scare me

I live in a city where everybody's a critic
I guess that it's made me a little too analytical
I'm picking apart the things I actually like
Cause I wish they were mine

I'm self destructive
I wish I wasn't
I'd rip out my heart to feel it
Cause feeling something's
Better than nothing
Even if it kills me

Maybe I should care
Maybe I should stop
But the more I wear it the more I like
How it feels on me
Like I'm tearing down walls I built carefully
I'm starting to scare me