Unhappy

Lock the door, shut the window, turn the lights low
Achieving happiness everyday is a life goal
Stuck inside a mind state I can't escape from
Never understood why this is what my brain does
Love it or hate it, I was born with this depression
Compulsive with my obsessions, my mind is a lethal weapon
It's overbearing; my mind is tearing the pieces
I've been fiending for some dopamine; like an addict, I need it
Yeah I need it, I want it but don't receive it
What is the point of life?
I don't understand the meaning
Am I dreaming? I've been staring at the ceiling with my eyes wide open
At nighttime I'm screaming
People don't notice how bad it truly is
Until they stand around your casket with a basket full of gifts
I'd rather be dead than alive and unhappy
People think I'm joking; sorry, I'm not laughing

Darkness, all-consuming
No one understands
Storm clouds, always storming
Rain that never ends

Still caught up on all the shit that I'm lacking
Long days, this long face I carry through every interaction
It happens, that's what my therapist said
What's the point in me sharing if it's the negative shit
That be gaining traction?
That's on me
And everybody knows misery love company
But ain't a soul I know got lows like me
I'm just waiting for life to pull the rug out from under me
I find a relief in a shotter pack and a Heinekin
Wrong about everything that I write about
If I write it then time to know
That my actions could change a bit in my life
But I struggle to put my thoughts into action until I'm high again
On Vicodin, a Percocet could help me, feel like floating now
I get high when I'm low; it's a rollercoaster now
Seem all to help me is a bottle full of drink
And rock bottom is each day that I'm sober
That's how I know I'm down

Darkness, all-consuming
No one understands
Storm clouds, always storming
Rain that never ends
Darkness, all-consuming
No one understands
Storm clouds, always storming
Rain that never ends