Smile

(album: SUMMER03 - 2021)

I've been on the edge for a while
It's getting hard to breathe, it's getting hard to smile
I don't who I should call or I should dial
I know I need some help, but that's just as fine, oh
All the shit that goes on inside my head
All the tears that have fallen have been shed
All the times that I've been cut like some thread
I can't describe, but I've been running out of my meds

You say you need me, but push me off to the side
I can't tell if you're telling the truth or telling your lies
I never knew how I should open up, I keep it inside
Ain't nobody that'll help me, wanna hear my cries
And you said that you got me, but I already know that you don't
I don't need your fucking help so leave me the fuck alone
I don't got a lot of friends, I'm used to being alone
I don't like to go outside, I'm always staying at home

And why you always gotta talk, talk, talk, talk, talk?
All I hear is fucking blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
I don't like you, now you're blocked, blocked, blocked, blocked, blocked
You're my friend, oh no, you're not, not, not, not, not

I kinda wanna go out, but I know what might go wrong
I been staring at my feelings, through the barrel of this gun
And I talk about my feelings, no they always getting shunned
And I'm losing track of time, always feeling so alone

Lately been scared, not leaving the house
And I'm feeling really jealous of the people they around
So I close my eyes and I shut my mouth
It's the funniest shit when it all goes
That sucks, shit-faced
I tried to be kind, that's a mistake
And they act like we're friends, but it's all fake
I'ma air out the laundry for display
Tell me, do you know my hurt?
You never will until you see your brother on a shirt
But it's okay, 'cause I might blow my brains
Fun-funny thing, before I'm seventeen
And I know that you don't notice when I try
I got way too much on my mind
And now I'm asking myself, am I even surprised?
And before I go, please tell me, why?

You say you need me, but push me on to the side
I can't tell if you're telling the truth or telling your lies
I never knew how I should open up, I keep it inside
Ain't nobody that'll help me, wanna hear my cries
And you said that you got me, but I already know that you don't
I don't need your fucking help so leave me the fuck alone
I don't got a lot of friends, I'm used to being alone
I don't like to go outside, I'm always staying at home

And why you always gotta talk, talk, talk, talk, talk?
All I hear is fucking blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
I don't like you, now you're blocked, blocked, blocked, blocked, blocked
You're my friend, oh no, you're not, not, not, not, not
And why you always gotta talk, talk, talk, talk, talk?
All I hear is fucking blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
I don't like you, now you're blocked, blocked, blocked, blocked, blocked
You're my friend, oh no, you're not, not, not, not, not