Slow Burn

(album: Lead Sails Paper Anchor - 2007)

It begins with a dark glowing ember,
something black burning it's way out of me.
Searing the flesh,
pain is the only thing I feel,
scars all I see.

Oh no the fire's burning my insides again,
what can I do to silence my desire tonight?
Flames consuming reason leaving only ashes left
you will catch me for regretting my decision,
I can't keep telling myself what I want to hear,
I can't just close my eyes.

I know that it's killing me,
and it's poisoning the best in me,
but I say, I don't want to believe.
what I see, I don't want to believe.
So let me tell you more (tell you more)
about the lies I lead.

That is how I choose to douce the flames in gasoline
Broken teeth replace the blackout memories in my head
Wreckage from the past haunts me, shake me to the bone (to the bone)
I know it's over but I can't go home tonight.

But after this I feel as empty as the night before,
feel the pain and yet I'm still begging for more.
Masochistic, nihilistic, urging backward thought
My life's a mess and I can't find a way to fix it.

I can't keep telling myself what I want to hear,
I can't just close my eyes
(my eyes, my eyes, my fucking eyes)

I know that it's killing me,
and it's poisoning the best of me,
What I see, I don't want to believe.
So let me tell you more, tell you more,
about the lies I lead.

Calling, calling out.
The darkest reaches of my soul,
are riddled with self-doubt.
Crawling, crawling out,
my will to fight will more than suffice,
when others would lay down.

It's only as dark as you make it.

I know that it's killing me,
and it's poisoning the best of me,
but I say, I don't want to believe.
So let me tell you more, tell you more
about the lies I lead.